A Child Abuse Survivors Group Community Group
We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...
When I was a child, my abusive parents were not good role models for me. Since I was not allowed to talk to other children or adults, I felt like an outsider. So I guess when I looked for a role model, I found someone who was also different. Silly though it may seem, I identified with the character Spock in the television series Star Trek - someone who was different, but somehow still accepted, though I never felt accepted myself. Most of the places we lived in did not have a television, but I think I saw snippets of the show, though never a complete episode, just enough to get a notion of the pointy-eared, slanted-eyebrows Vulcan who lived 'logically.'
Did you find role models to look to as a child? If not, have you found them now as an adult? Were they actual people or fictional characters? Was there a school teacher or neighbor or relative who was a role model for you when your parent(s) failed to be good role models? Why do we need role models, and what can we learn from role models?
Did you find role models to look to as a child? If not, have you found them now as an adult? Were they actual people or fictional characters? Was there a school teacher or neighbor or relative who was a role model for you when your parent(s) failed to be good role models? Why do we need role models, and what can we learn from role models?
My better role models came from listening to radio and going to the movies with my mother. She loved her movies and took me to see the matinees after school. We had no TV back then, but I listened to shows like Boston Blackie, Superman, and the Green Hornet. Those heroes didn't always follow rules, but they dedicated themselves to fighting injustice...as did many of the heroic characters in movie scripts. You can't ask for a better moral standard than that.
At times I've been envious other peoples' mothers. Not really envious, but more wanted to be included. I always made friends with people who were older than me because I never belonged with people my own age. Sometimes I do see some of them as role models as they couldn't possibly be considered "peers". I meet these amazing, strange, educated women and I always wonder, 'Why couldn't my mother have been more like that?My life could have been so different..."
YES! I know that feeling SO WELL. I've spent the past several years of my life trying to learn to MAKE a decision and move TOWARDS something, rather than feeling like a pin ball, always bouncing away from what I didn't want. It's not a life when all you know is what not to do. It's important to learn what to do, and, heavens, that's not easy.
I have to say, I was never one to pull role models off tv. And unfortunately, most of the role models I picked in real day to day life were great enough to hurt me very badly. So I have had a big handbook of what I didn't want to do or to be.