A Child Abuse Survivors Group Community Group
We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...
Untruth: Children always lie about the abuse, and if abuse did occur, it is the children's fault.
Truth: Children are never to blame for the abuse they suffer from adults. Adults are always responsible for their own behaviors to children. No matter how children behave, an adult never has any right to abuse a child (Myths and Realities about Child Abuse, 2004). Adults sometimes think that children make up stories about abuse. Children rarely lie about abuse. Children's disclosures of abuse may vary in their content because of their reluctance and fear to tell what has happened (Myths and Realities about Child Abuse, 2004). Just because children later retract their story after disclosing about their abuse, people think they were lying about the abuse. Children who disclose experiences of abuse can become aware of very serious consequences. For example, their parents may be very upset or in conflict with each other or with the friend or relative the allegation is about. Children may fear that the parent they have disclosed about will be removed from the family or that they may be removed from the family themselves. Adults may pressure them to retract using threats of more abuse, by frightening them about likely serious consequences or with more subtle forms of pressure. The shocked and angry reactions of some adults when they hear about abuse can make it very difficult for children to continue to speak out (Myths and Realities about Child Abuse, 2004). If asked about abuse, people think that children tend to exaggerate and are prone to making false accusations. Contrary to the popular misconception, research shows that children often minimize and deny, rather than embellish what has happened to them (Eight Common Myths about Child Sexual Abuse, 2005).
Truth: Children are never to blame for the abuse they suffer from adults. Adults are always responsible for their own behaviors to children. No matter how children behave, an adult never has any right to abuse a child (Myths and Realities about Child Abuse, 2004). Adults sometimes think that children make up stories about abuse. Children rarely lie about abuse. Children's disclosures of abuse may vary in their content because of their reluctance and fear to tell what has happened (Myths and Realities about Child Abuse, 2004). Just because children later retract their story after disclosing about their abuse, people think they were lying about the abuse. Children who disclose experiences of abuse can become aware of very serious consequences. For example, their parents may be very upset or in conflict with each other or with the friend or relative the allegation is about. Children may fear that the parent they have disclosed about will be removed from the family or that they may be removed from the family themselves. Adults may pressure them to retract using threats of more abuse, by frightening them about likely serious consequences or with more subtle forms of pressure. The shocked and angry reactions of some adults when they hear about abuse can make it very difficult for children to continue to speak out (Myths and Realities about Child Abuse, 2004). If asked about abuse, people think that children tend to exaggerate and are prone to making false accusations. Contrary to the popular misconception, research shows that children often minimize and deny, rather than embellish what has happened to them (Eight Common Myths about Child Sexual Abuse, 2005).
My sister did that to me when I mentioned to her once that I was remembering my childhood. At that time I didn't remember any of the abuse, but just saying that I was recovering memories was enough to set her on a campaign to discredit me. It was only later after I started remembering all her groping that her strange behavior suddenly made sense.
Like anything else in this world, there are some abusers who have no desire to be found out. So they deny any and all possible abuse situations.
It is just more abuse.
Did you know about Freud writing off the stories of incest and sexual abuse that nearly all the young girls told him? He claimed that young girls were making up these stories as fantasy because nearly every young girl told similar stories.
There is a long history of children being abused and further insulted by not being believed.
i never understood why anyone would wanna make up stories of abuse is beyond me. it's bad enough murder is very serious and everybody knows that but nobody cares about child abuse!
When I was a kid my mother used to beat me black and blue with a hand brush. It broke when she was hitting me with it because she was hitting me so hard. She left some huge bruises on my backside and my legs. My mother told me the brush would have broken anyway and it was no big deal.
We were at my grandparents and my grandmother saw the bruises and asked in a shocked tone - how I had gotten the bruises. I told her that my mother had been hitting me with a brush - and she hit me so hard - the brush broke. I immediately felt fear and told her that it didn't matter because the brush would have broken anyway.
I was scared to death that she would say something to my mother - and I begged her not to. I was very frightened of what my mother would do to me for exposing her abuse.