Yes, they blamed me for existing and for the color of my skin. They blamed me for getting lost (when I was 6) during a picnic. I'm sure there are other incidents but those are the ones I remember.

I am the root cause of all my mothers issues. If I had simply not been born her life would have been perfect. If a dish broke, it was somehow my fault, even if I wasn't in the room. I was always to blame, for her bad day, for her whatever.
My first ex didn't blame me for much of anything, except the abuse.
My husband blamed me for a lot. I ruined his life, according to him. Everything was better before he met me. His parents had issues because of me. If something went wrong at work, it was my fault. If something broke at the house, it was my fault. If his truck broke down, it was my fault.
Honestly, it was my fault, because I accepted the blame. My mother has so ingrained in me that I am inherently wrong and therefore I am to blame, that I accepted that role. I still apologize for things beyond my control! LOL! Working on that.

I was born and according to my dad my mum hates cause i'm better looking than she is.

I ruined my mother's Christmas one year when she played a humiliating practical joke on me.
My step-father told me if I didn't start acting like a "normal" person, that he would divorce my mother.
I am still being blamed.
It's my fault my step-father doesn't retire from his job, because he supposedly feels like he has to support me and my children. (I don't get any money from them in any way. They refuse to help me.)
I am also the sole cause of my mother's anxiety and over-eating.....although I can't imagine how since I never left the house, was never violent or angry, and I've never shoved food down her throat.
Oh, and once I was told that it was my fault that my dad cheated on my mom (not the fact that Mom cheated on Dad first or anything else!)

Looking back on it all, I think the root problem was that my parent's constant criticism of me wasn't about me, it was really about them. They were so caught up in feeling sorry for themselves and worrying about their own concerns that they didn't really think of me as a person separate from their issues.

The world revolved around them. I don't think they genuinely cared that much about me, except as something that could reflect badly on them if people thought they weren't taking care of me. They were in the habit of blaming everyone but themselves for their troubles. I think they blamed me for being in the way of things they wanted to do, for not being what they wanted to show off to people as a successful, athletic son.

I was an accident that happened in their middle age after they were almost done with raising children, and I think they resented that.

These are good replies. Thanks. I still remember anytime someone did not put something away it was my fault. It was my fault my mom married a mean, schizophrenic man, that they went into debt to remodel the house, that the utility bill were so high (only things I had on much was 1 light and a TV). She probably blamed me for her migraines too. So like the rest of you I have learned to accept blame for things I had nothing to do with. Has been a hard battle to stop taking blame.

My Mom blamed all of us(5 kids) for her teeth too. Thats so funny. I remember being pregnant and being so completely paranoid that something bad was going to happen to my teeth. She also blamed us for her voice, cause it sure wasn't the 2 packs a day that made her lose her beautiful singing voice. She also used to blame us for not eating. She would push her plate across the table and yell, " THAT'S IT! Now I can't eat, thanks for ruining my dinner and storm off. It was always over something ridiculous.

I personally shouldered much of the blame for their financial problems. I had cancer from 13 to 16 and both my parents blamed me for the lack of money. I was talking to my aunt about it years later about how bad I have always felt, and she told me that we had excellent health insurance and both my parents were cashing the insurance checks and spending them instead of paying the Doctors. Of course I didn't know this but heard them many times use my cancer as an excuse. It really messes with your head.

There are many other things, and last year in therapy finally realized that I did not marry my father, I married my Mother, who is a more covert sneaky passive aggressive abuser, just like my hubby. It happens so slow and sneaky you don't even realize it was happening, and have always felt guilty for even feeling something was off.

I was blamed for wetting the bed, I had the accidents from about 4 all the way to about 14. My dad would break a stick off the tree or find a belt or through something at me if I woke up wet. Or he would sneak in at night and check while I was asleep ande if I was he would fill up a bucket of cold water and dump it on me to wake me up, then either make me stay in it till morning or get up at whatever time it was and sort it out.

Oh yeah and dad would hit me all the time, I was the bad child. Never understood why as my grades were always perfects and I always did well at school, I could cook and clean from a very young age and everybody outside love me. Found out when I was about 20 that It was cos me and my mum are closer than my dad and mum and she would always talk to me for hours everyday, if not for school and work we'd be attached at the hip and dad hated me for taking her from him.

As suspected he's alot nicer now Ive left home, though mum and I still speak alot more than she does him, he just doesnt know it.

My dad had a flat tire while running an errand during his lunch break from work. Now I remember my mom telling him on at least 2 maybe 3 paydays before this happened that he needed t get new tires for the car--they were bald and not safe to be driving on, but he insisted each time that he needed the money for something else.

But when he had the flat, he came home and gave me one of the worst beatings ever. He blamed me for the flat tire, because weeks before my mom had driven me some place where the road was bumpy.

I was the scapegoat! Everything that went wrong was my fault. And it took me a long time to be able to see God as a loving Heavenly Father because of this. Now that I do understand the love of God, I'm healed from all that pain. God has taken away my anger and bitterness, and I have joy even in the midst of trails, and peace and hope, because I know I have Him loving me and walking with me through it all. Jesus saves and heals!!!!

My mother used to scream frequently that she could have had a life if it weren't for us kids. The truth is that she did not have a life because of what she herself did. She couldn't stick with any one thing very long. For a while she was into refinishing furniture, then there was miniatures (dollhouses and the furnishings for them), then antique tableware, then her pet steer that she led around all day on a rope, then religion, then an obsession with doctors and pills, then trying to be African-American by having her hair curled tightly and dyed black and telling everyone that she was an albino African-American woman with three white children and having us live in mostly black neighborhoods and attend all-black churches, . . . and on it went, all the while being a lunatic and being abusive and neglectful.

For anyone who was blamed for what their abuser did, know that it was not your fault. People who have problems and who can't face them often blame their problems on others. This is often referred to as 'The Blame Game.'

I got my share of blame when things went wrong. I fortunately did not get a lot of spankings or beatings only one real bad one. My parents were verbal and emotional abusers. They were not always direct with much of what they said it was more in the way they said things that left no doubt that you were to blame for things. My mother never said it directly but it was made very clear that had it not been for me that her and my father would not be together and that she loved my brother from her previous marriage better than me. I have tendency to cut my dad a lot of slack for the way he was because of the way he was raised. It does not excuse it but the cycle of abuse whether physical or emotional is a hard one to break.

It is still hard for me to pin down exact circumstances or exacts words because I have such big memory gaps throughout my childhood about many things.