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We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...
Every once in a while as I do research on the internet, I run across something unusual. The following is one such item. It seems to hold some relevance to child abuse, but I can't quite explain what it is - can you?
The Monkey Story
Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.
Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.
The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one.
The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.
Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.
Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.
Why not?
Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been around here.
-Author Unknown
The Monkey Story
Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.
Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.
The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one.
The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.
Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.
Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.
Why not?
Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been around here.
-Author Unknown
deleted_user
This is a really good writing. This would pertain to alot of families. Abuse has always been in their family, and no one ever broke the pattern. When I was a little girl, child abuse was seen as a ''family problem,'' not a child safety issue. I am 57 years old...Chidren were supposed to be ''seen and not heard'.In that era of time, a lot of parents thought they owned their children. They were their property that they could treat them anyway they wanted to. No one ever questioned these''parents''. And they never had to claim any responsibility for the harm they had done. Thank goodness there are laws now protecting children, however, I know there are still abused children out there.....
RichieD
I think humans are much the same. Child abuse has a way of echoing down through many generations.
ryverrat
From Puritan to the Prussian method of child rearing, abuse was perpetuated as proper child rearing methods. Spare the rod, spoil the child; don't pick up a crying infant, it will make them too dependent, putting an infant on a strict feeding schedule to teach them patience. All these methods were taught for centuries so families thought they were doing the "best ' for their children. Unfortunately this was so ingrained that the abuse was passed from generation to generation. Only now are we realizing the horrible affects for these century old practices and trying to prevent them from continuing.
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