A Child Abuse Survivors Group Community Group
We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...
Not only did I suffer from child abuse, but squalor as well. No one was to blame except my mother. She was a hoarder of useless things and things that were broken beyond repair. She loved her piles of junk more than anything in the world. Anyone who touched them to move them out of the way or to try to clean up was the human personification of Satan in her mind. Old magazines, newspapers, books with the covers torn off them and missing pages, broken chairs, broken tables, chipped and cracked china, and countless prescription pill bottles made walking across a room or hallway a huge task, especially since if any of it was moved, she would know and she would punish the person who moved her treasures.
She had many bizarre beliefs that helped to enforce the squalor we lived in. Cabinet doors and drawers were always to be left open. She never finished a loaf of bread, but instead, would take a couple of slices from the bag and leave it open to spoil, then open another bag of bread. She piled up dirty clothes, and rather than wash them, would simply go to garage sales and buy more clothes. She believed that modern washing machines and dryers were evil, so we had to hand-wash our clothes and hang them outside to dry. Cockroaches to her were living things that must be protected, and anyone who crushed one under his or her shoe would be punished by her.
The squalor was just one part of the nightmare of my childhood.
Were you raised in squalor, meaning not just poor conditions, but cluttered and filthy as well?
She had many bizarre beliefs that helped to enforce the squalor we lived in. Cabinet doors and drawers were always to be left open. She never finished a loaf of bread, but instead, would take a couple of slices from the bag and leave it open to spoil, then open another bag of bread. She piled up dirty clothes, and rather than wash them, would simply go to garage sales and buy more clothes. She believed that modern washing machines and dryers were evil, so we had to hand-wash our clothes and hang them outside to dry. Cockroaches to her were living things that must be protected, and anyone who crushed one under his or her shoe would be punished by her.
The squalor was just one part of the nightmare of my childhood.
Were you raised in squalor, meaning not just poor conditions, but cluttered and filthy as well?
I'm guessing that's the reason why I'm cleaner than my family is. Not OCD but if I make a mess, I just can't leave it sitting.
I bow to a fellow warriors courage,no one knows the NOBILITY of it unless
they have been where we were.
Blessings,
jimindigo
That is not my story. I grew up in filth and squalor, my mother couldn't have cared less about keeping anything clean. We had animals that shit in the house and she wouldn't clean it up, just left piles of shit around the house. The kitchen was so filthy, I never ate at home. I attracted other kids who were in the same boat as me. Kids who came from good families wanted nothing to do with me. So I did what my peer group did and quit school and started taking drugs. It wasn't till I was in my mid twenties that I gave up all those friends and started living a clean life. Those sure were hellish years.
Back to mum & dads and back to a tip, they had moved but mess followed with them. And we had moved to be nearer grandparents.
So as this is becoming a life story ill cut it short, they divorced, we lived with her, one school uniform, one t shirt jeans or dress. Hand me downs old fashioned washer only worked a few times a year so t was a case if wash my own or stink. She remarried got a dog, shit in the ,glory hole, which was a kitchen pantry along with the dirty clothes, whole house was a shit tip & hardly any food. Dad got remarried and I think history repeated. Always the poor kids needing hand outs.
So looking on the good points of this .....people say I'm obsessed with washing.....I say nothing wrong with being clean! I haven't got time to have a perfect house clean and tidy and I get stressed when its a mess, but my house is a clean house at all times. We always have decent food in. Life's too short for perfection!
Lesson learnt ..... I will never ever ever be like her, thanks mum & dad you taught me how not to bring up my kids and live my life.