A Child Abuse Survivors Group Community Group
We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...
In physical abuse, unlike physical forms of discipline, the following elements are present:
Unpredictability. The child never knows what is going to set the parent off. There are no clear boundaries or rules. The child is constantly walking on eggshells, never sure what behavior will trigger a physical assault.
Lashing out in anger. Physically abusive parents act out of anger and the desire to assert control, not the motivation to lovingly teach the child. The angrier the parent, the more intense the abuse.
Using fear to control behavior. Parents who are physically abusive may believe that their children need to fear them in order to behave, so they use physical abuse to “keep their child in line.” However, what children are really learning is how to avoid being hit, not how to behave or grow as individuals.
Unpredictability. The child never knows what is going to set the parent off. There are no clear boundaries or rules. The child is constantly walking on eggshells, never sure what behavior will trigger a physical assault.
Lashing out in anger. Physically abusive parents act out of anger and the desire to assert control, not the motivation to lovingly teach the child. The angrier the parent, the more intense the abuse.
Using fear to control behavior. Parents who are physically abusive may believe that their children need to fear them in order to behave, so they use physical abuse to “keep their child in line.” However, what children are really learning is how to avoid being hit, not how to behave or grow as individuals.
There is no reason to parent out of fear except for safety purposes, and even so, physical punishment is a no no!
But that is my opinion. Mainly because teaching a person through fear teaches them nothing more then to use fear and physical force to control others.
a "step-cousin" of mine went through this with a belt and worse since infancy because his father and mother who were very fashionable looking and educated etc., pedophiles and perverts in general used to get off on doing it. compared to how they treated his younger brother who had no marks or children who were total strangers the belts and worse on their oldest son, was actually mild. i will never understand how so much abuse went on before the 1990's and our police were not trained to handle it.
i called in something like this in the early 90's and the branch of the state attorney's office that handles that kind of crime wasn't aware the laws had changed. i was FLOORED and i went over their head and to the local press with it. it just goes on and on.