A Child Abuse Survivors Group Community Group
We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...
Children need predictability, structure, clear boundaries, and the knowledge that their parents are looking out for their safety. Abused children cannot predict how their parents will act. Their world is an unpredictable, frightening place with no rules. Whether the abuse is confinement, a slap, punch, kick, molestation, a harsh comment, stony silence, or not knowing if there will be dinner on the table tonight, the end result is a child that feel unsafe, uncared for, and alone.
Now that you are separated from the abuse, do you have predictability, structure, respect of your personal boundaries, and a feeling of safety in your life? If not, do you foresee a time when you will have these things?
Now that you are separated from the abuse, do you have predictability, structure, respect of your personal boundaries, and a feeling of safety in your life? If not, do you foresee a time when you will have these things?
I am working on boundaries. I still do not trust my own perception of things or my interpretation of events, so it is hard for me to sometimes determine whether a boundary has been crossed or if I am over or under reacting. This does not come naturally.
Shar
I have trouble paying the taxes on the house out of my small income, and it's not worth much in today's housing market...it's old and has a lot of problems like bad plumbing. So I feel like I'm a few steps ahead of being homeless all the time. I'm trying to grow my own food in the front yard.
I feel threatened by my neighbors. One of them dumped about a pickup truck load of yard waste on my property a couple of weeks ago....this evening when I went up to get the mail I saw trash strewn all over the place in front of my property...that happens regularly. I don't know why they do these things to me...I live on a dead-end street with only a half dozen houses on it, so it's likely my neighbors dumping all the trash.
For my whole life I've seen people as a hostile force to deal with...and it just seems to keep going on that way. I've never said a harsh word to anyone here. People are like spoiled fruit...nice looking on the outside, but all rotten inside.
I had some cats that I cared very much about, but they would come home very sick...or not at all. I got one to the vet before she died, and the vet did a necropsy...he said she was poisoned. I have one cat left, and she's extremely finicky about her food...only eats from her own dish by the refrigerator. That's probably why she's still alive.
So I try to stay away from people as much as I can.
I wish at times I had a chance to have my own child, at least then I would know what not to do.
Boundaries are important, but so is letting people in, gauging with whom is always the hardest thing.
A discussion of boundaries would be good.