A Child Abuse Survivors Group Community Group

We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...

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Beaumont 04/06/2013

Failure or the fear of failure can be crippling for many of us. Failure is often viewed as the end of an unsuccessful journey, but it really isn't. Failure is just a step we take while we're on the way to learning something. Don't be afraid to try, because wonderful things can happen when we just try.

Sometimes we fail big, like when we get fired from a job, evicted from an apartment, or lose friends. Sometimes we fail in little ways, like when we leave home without our wallet, or get lost and can't find the place we are looking for.

Can you think of times in your life when you failed at first, but kept with it and eventually succeeded? Have there been times in your life you failed and completely gave up, and told yourself that you would never try again? Do you believe in giving yourself second chances?

deleted_user 04/06/2013

Oh my .... this is stopping me from starting a small business. I just hear mother's words telling me how I will fail each detail.

SO how do we beat it when it is a constant companion?
I was beat and sent to bed for getting straight A's. How do I even begin to deal with failing?

I just want to die some days.

heretic 04/06/2013

Life just keeps rolling along. I've failed at almost everything I've ever tried, but life doesn't stop, as much as I wish it would. So I keep breathing and keep living each day. When I fail, I mourn. I feel I have an infinite number of chances to keep failing, I've pretty much accepted that it's all I do, Fail,

RichieD 04/07/2013

I failed countless times in my attempts to grow vegetables in the poor soil I had to work with, but I didn't give up. I just kept going back at it and trying again. Now I have all I need to make nice meals for myself with fresh veggies. I love gardening so much that I couldn't walk away from it.

Someone asked an Olympic gold medalist how she managed to overcome so many defeats and finally reach such heights of excellence at her young age. She said..."I don't know, I just kept going back to the gym."

good2go2001 04/07/2013

I always grew up with family telling me i would fail and no matter what i accomplished it was just never enough to please them. So when i got married..... ofcourse my family said oh you will never make it you will be divorced in a matter of no time at all....I was bound and determined to prove them wrong...... and 25 yrs later here i sit still trying to prove to them all that they was wrong. A while back i gave this some deep thought.... i really havnt proven anything to them and I have suffered alot for trying to prove anything because i have wasted 25 yrs of my life in an abusive marriage. I would definitely say my growing up like that has made my fear of failure crippling in some situations.

They also told me i would never amount to anything and that my kids would suffer greatly for that. Well i went to college and failed but being of the mind set that i was going to prove my family wrong i did go back to college and i graduated!

hmgm 04/09/2013

This is a difficult topic for me. I wasn't "allowed" to fail and when I did, I got beat. So I suppose I can view this as the reason I graduated high school and college. But what a terrible way to live under that constant fear of failure not even for self-esteem reasons but because of the fear of the physical and emotional consequences from abuse. I was often berrated for not understanding something the first time and told I was stupid over and over again. Yet I was expected to succeed and failing wasn't an option. I developed a hypervigilant mindset because of this, similar to PTSD symptoms of always being on guard and extra careful to get things right and succeed. This then led to being hypercritical of myself and later others. I still hate to fail at anything which for the most part is still due to the fear of someone being angry with me.

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