exactly whats happining to me every single day...thoughts of the abuse and abuser....i dont want to think about it,it just happens....and i see now that its normal,thanks for posting this
amy

I have periods in my life when I have bouts of nightmares that can last a few months at a time, and then subside for a time. During these periods, I will frequently waken in night with words that were shouted at me during childhood racing through my mind. I can also experience intrusive thoughts when I isolate myself too much or when something around me triggers a flashback or bad memory.

If you suffer from intrusive thoughts, don't for a minute think that you are crazy or somehow defective. You are a normal person reacting to traumatic events in your past or present, and your mind and body are simply doing what they can to cope with it.

i have a few abusers...the man i got a order of protection from 2 yrs ago,still haunts my dreams at night...im in fear that he will find me.i moved an hour away..from where he lives....

then theres my dad...the thoughts come everyday but not dreams....i know im normal..as i can be...but what my dad did is unspeakable and he should be in prison

Many survivors ask, "If I don't remember the trauma, or if I don't have strong feelings about it, isn't that better?" Dissociation eventually takes far more effort than it is worth. The more we try not to, the more feelings and thoughts assert themselves, unconsciously demanding our attention. It takes an enormous toll to keep perfectly legitimate memories and feelings about childhood trauma in deep freeze. In the long run, one is better letting the thaw happen, and with the support of others, participating in some manner of "cure" that will allow life to go on.

i thought this to be on topic...we have to thaw out the feelings and memories to heal...

I agree with you, Amerika. I believe we do have to "thaw out" those memories. I understand that for some people this isn't always possible. My ex-husband was abused as a child and only two clear memories from prior to age 7. His sisters, however, remember everything. His own therapist and their therapists recommended not forcing the trauma to surface. They felt that if it had not surfaced after 30 years on its own, that it was better left alone.

However, if you already have good recollection, trying to suppress it only does more harm than good. At least, in my case it did. That's when the intrusive thoughts were the worst. I could be reduced to a puddle in no time, no matter where I was. Now that I've dealt with more of the abuse than I ever did before, grieved, come to a level of acceptance I can deal with, etc.....I don't have those intrusive thoughts so much. I've learned that healing is never OVER, its an ongoing process. New life experiences, age, etc., will always come into play and new levels of understanding can be gained.