If they are thinking you are lesser than they are, then they're damaged from abuse too, and just don't know it.

My two cents on this. In order for me to keep my own sanity and remain focused on me, I had to realize that I cannot change the world and all I can do is contribute to make people more aware. I do so when there are conversations involving abuse or when i see abusive situations where I feel I can make it an educational experience.

But I find it overwhelmingly difficult to be able to make people see the importance of awareness about abuse in all scales of society. That's a rather larger an more difficult mission.

These estimates we find from research studies do not accurately reflect the truth because many cases of abuse....in childhood or adulthood....go unreported, especially when the abuse was strictly emotional abuse. We have to keep in mind that among the population at large are victims who do not even realize they are being abused and the abusers themselves. Plus, we live in a society that has been numbed to violence of every sort through a constant barrage of news about wars, crimes, kidnappings, and the like. Movies and video games are filled with violent images. We see violence everywhere, everyday, and ultimately this acclimates us to it. We simply begin to ignore it because it's like the paint on the walls that never really changes.

So, when you consider all those factors, it is easy to understand why so many people will come to the conclusion that victims of abuse should just "get over it" and that when we don't, there MUST be something wrong with us. Its a sad truth in our world. And industrialized society promotes perfection in so many ways, so anything less than what is considered perfect must be defective.

Its an incredibly sad truth that our society is like this. It's a sickness really that afflicts our society as a whole. So, when I view it this way, I see that the only way to heal from this enormous, societal illness is to repair the individual parts, the singular cells of the organism. And when one cell, on individual has healed enough, they in turn help another heal. The chain reaction is what will really bring healing.

Chris's perspective is a good one. When we encounter conversations or situations of abuse, we can view them as opportunities to educate others. Whenever I hear one of my daughter's friends talk about other kids and how they act, I tell her that she may not see the whole truth of the situation that kid lives in. She always tells me, "Huh, I never thought of that." I take these little moments to educate, even our younger generations, about abuse and compassion. Sometimes I feel like I am always playing "devil's advocate" but in truth, the only way we will see a major change in how abuse victims are abused is if we challenge the current beliefs whenever the opportunity arises.

EDIT: last paragragh.....the only way we will see a major change in how abuse victims are VIEWED not abused....lol

I agree with the sentiment that as every being heals, they intern can heal others.
It seems to me that we as human beings are simply incapable of truly understanding what it is like to survive abuse or have a mental illness unless or until we have experienced it ourselves.
Before recognizing myself as fitting into both these categories, I had a friend who also did. I thought she was keeping distance between herself and the world and escaping through her responsibilities as a house wife. I felt lesser than most of the time in her presence. I started to have resentments and feel disappointed by her (my own needs of her were excessive to begin with, being a survivor myself; I just didn't know it at the time). I somehow just knew that she would not answer the phone at times I knew she was home; I felt that she made it really difficult to stay in friendship with her, and I blamed her for that. It is only by having understood these qualities in myself, and where they have come from, and many years later, and after both of us have attempted to end our lives and ended up in the hospital, that I can now see her (and myself) in a different light, one that is compassionate and understanding and encouraging and forgiving, one that feels relief to recognize myself in another. The difference is that I don't take it personally and I don't judge; actually, these aspects, in anyone, evoke relief and compassion in me. But these responses would never have been possible without experiencing and acknowledging the effects and the presence of childhood abuse in my own life. I simply could not have understood.

I have been somewhat blessed lately, with the presence of more and more people in my life, and contexts for social contact, where (around whom) it can come out that I am a survivor (along with others). We can all understand and support each other. It is safe to be me in these places, around these people. It is as if people who cannot understand are simply not in my life, or if they are, often I can see the symptoms in them before they can, and respond with compassion and the boundaries I need.

It's ironic how alone and empty a lot of us feel, and yet there are so many of us. Truly we are not alone. We need to be there for each other. We live in a different reality, and we need our own communities. We are not a minority.

PS. What a great discussion topic. Thank you, Beaumont. Bless ...

We do need a bit of extra help and day to day can be a huge strugle for us, but we are strong people! Telling somone who never had abuse, about our strugles, is TO ME, usless. When we freak out about being touched when we are stressing, when we force ourselves out of bed..ect. They dont know, and a lot of them dont care frankly. I dont think they ever will enough to watch what they say, and do around us. My girlfriend triggers me ever day at leaste 10 times a day, and I TOLD HER. She still doesnt get it. So having the other 75 percent know what Im going though, is a waste of time and effort, to me.