I am feeling really good about myself now. I went into therapy, read self help books, got a hobby, went to college, volunteered, and started having boundries with people. You have to heal yourself on the inside, before you can start changing on the outside...Because of my horrific childhood abuse, I now have 5 mental health disorders. That does not stop me from doing what I want to do!! You communicate very well. People are just starting to talk about what used to be taboo. Talking is the key to healing......Keep up the good work.

Right now I am feeling FEAR. Although I appear calm on the outside, I am starting to embark into a core childhood issue - Abandonment, and I feel scared of the tremendous pain I know I will encounter there. I have an excellent therapist who has already helped me so much. I have just begun to allow myself the possibility of recognizing that I was abandoned in childhood in so many ways. I've never really thought of myself as abandoned but I see this more and more each day. I must be feeling safe enough to stop the denial and let myself go there - well not quite yet but I know that's where I'm heading.

Beaumont, I know how you feel. Lonely is safe, but painful when you feel that need for connection with others. Not having attachment to a reliable caregiver leaves children emotionally starved, a state we learn to live with even as adults. I hope you find it easier with time and practice to overcome self-consciousness about your external appearance to allow worthy and unjudgmental people to get to know you on the inside.

Angel, I am happy for you that you're feeling good about yourself! I totally agree that you have to change on the inside first. Talking with my therapist has been really helpful as it's really helped me to being out unresolved issues.

I am really having a difficult time narrowing it down to one word that says how i feel right now because of the situations that are happening in my life right now so........ its more like ABANDONMENT SCARED & HOPELESS all at one time!
Although i have been in therapy for awhile.... we are just now starting to deal with some of the issues of my childhood abuse. Dealing with my more critical dx of abuse in my marriage and my eating disorder and Anxiety/PTSD have been helpful but all that seems to be connected with the things that happened in my childhood so im very scared to let myself deal with the childhood issues centered around the abuse :(

me too i need people to be happy but my issue is mental abuse from my parents. i have been seeing a therapist for almost 7 months and it has helped although i do fight with myself on therapy. i feel things are so impossible, hey, i grew up seeing that from my mother who is just a sorry excuse for a woman!

I'm feeling good. Pursuing a Masters in Psychology. I want to help other victims like myself, though that was never the primary reason.

I just had a long talk with my mother. She's 72 now but she's a classic emotion al manipulator who denies that my father was an angry violent abusive torturer. (No commas.) It's difficult because I suspect that she has looked at me like I was my father. But he didn't raise me, she divorced him before him and his brother could do more to me, and my brother and sister never got old enough to see what he could do. As such my mother seems to hate me for things not my fault. I can say I tried to be a good son but I have to move away from my family, they really do not know me. I am good so I will make a point that I feel better than I have in the past 20 years.

Mr. E.

Sadness. I am feeling sad. My mind and thoughts are not what they used to be before of the sexual abuse by my psychiatrist and after having taken for 13 psychiatric pills: he prescribed me for 10 years these pills while abusing me. Here there are no good therapists or support groups to help me overcome the abuse. I feel depressed some days and weak. I feel anxious when I am on the PC or when I watch TV. Thus I prefer not to watch TV. I still have problems to sleep. Sometimes I feel scared that people could damage me. I feel not secure when I am with people because I think they are all as my psychiatrist who pretended to be a good person and he wasn't. He manipulated, controlled me and abused me with those pills.

I'm feeling ok now but earlier I was feelin rather lonely.

There's no such thing as a wrong feeling. Feelings and emotions are perfectly normal and healthy, and we have them for a reason. Sometimes our feelings are so strong that we call them 'instincts.' Instincts help us in interpreting the world around us; that's why we have the familiar saying, "trust your instincts." Feelings protect and guide us. Feelings help us be something other than biological machines. Sometimes we block our feelings with logic and reason, but they eventually come back. It's all a part of the package of being human. I hope that each of you are feeling good, and if not, that you'll soon be!

HELLO, I FEEL BETTER KNOWING THAT BEAUMONT IS HERE, YESTERDAY I FELT SADNESS, AND PRAYED FOR HIM, HOPED THAT YOU WERE STRONG AND STILLL HERE**READING YOUR STORIES AND ABOUT YOUR SITUATIONS, FEELINGS, I SEE THAT I WAS NOT TREATED SO BAD AFTER ALL, YOU ALL SUFFERED MUCH, I HAD FOOD AND SHELTER, CLOTHES, AND SOME COMFORT, I GUESS WE CAN ALWAYS HAVE MORE..
LAST NIGHT I WENT TO BED AND JUST WANTED TO SLEEP, REST, I COULD FEEL THE MIGRAINE SYMPTOMS IN MY BRAIN, THE SHOOTING PAIN, I PRAYED, FELL ASLEEP BUT KEPT WAKING UP, HAVING BACKFLASHES ABOUT MY LIFE, ABUSE, EMOTIONAL, AND PHISICAL, I CANNOT SHARE , IT MAKES ME FEEL ASHAMED, I HAVE CONFRONTED THE ABUSER, HE HAS NO REMORSE AND MADE EXCUSES, MY ABUSER HAS BEEN ALSO MY E H , WHEN I MET HIM HE WAS ALL LOVEY DOVEY, BUT I SAW SOME BAD TRAITS, AND I DIDN'T KNOW HIM WELL, HIS MOTHER HATED ME, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW, HE LOOKED SUCH A NICE GUY, EVERYBODY LIKED HIM, INSTEAD I FOUND OUT IT WAS A MANIPULATIVE , CONTROLLING, DOMINEERING BASTARD, BUT IT TOOK YEARS TO GET THE COURAGE TO CONFRONT HIM, AND RIGHT NOW HE IS HERE IN THE SAME ROOM, WATCHING TV, YES, WE STILL LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE ,BUT ON MY TERMS, HE IS MY CARER, BECAUSE OF MY HEALTH I CANNOT LIVE ALONE, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN TO MY DAUGHTER, HE USED ME ,I AM USING HIM, WHAT CHANCE DO I HAVE OF MEETING SOMEONE ELSE**I TRUST NO ONE, I CANNOT STAND TO BE TOUCHED, NOR COULD I EVER LOVE, THIS IS THE WAY I WANT TO LIVE, FREE***I MISS THAT I WAS NEVER LOVED BY BY PARENTS, FRIENDS OR HUSBAND, IN LAWS, NOBODY EVER TRULY LOVED ME, THEY ALL USED, ME, LIED, VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED, I REPRESSED MY FEELINGS FOR SO LONG, I AM ILL, BECAUSE OF IT,THE WAY I WAS BROUGHT UP, TO DO THINGS A CERTAIN WAY, RESPECT THIS AND THAT, SO MANY WRONG THINGS, MY MOTHER SHOULD HAVE CARED MORE ABOUT ME THEN WHAT PEOPLE TOUGHT ABOUT US, SHE WAS SO WEAK ,ALWAYS FEELING SORRY FOR MY FATHER, AND HE WAS THE CAUSE OF OUR PROBLEMS, I ALWAYS FELT THAT I HAD TO DO ALL I COULD TO MAKE HER HAPPY, SHE WAS ALWAYS ILL, AND SAYING THAT SHE WAS BETTER OFF DEAD, BUT I SAW THAT SHE WAS THIS WAY WITH ME NOT MY SISTERS, AND I FOUND OUT THAT SHE LIED TO ME LATER ABOUT SO MANY THINGS, AND ALL THESE MEMORIES JUST CAME SOMETIME AND I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER ,IT IS THE PAST, BUT IT STILL HURT, THERE WAS NO NEED TO HURT ME, USE ME, I LOVED THEM**I DID GET TO SLEEP SOME, BUT KEEP DREAMING, HAVING BAD DREAMS, I GUESS WE CAN MOVE ON, BUT THE PAST WILL BE ALWAYS BE THERE, I DON'T LET IT CONTROL ME, BUT I CANNOT CHANGE WHAT HAPPEND, WHAT FAMILY DID TO ME, WHAT E H DID , USED ME, AT TIMES I HAVE WISHED HE HAD DIED A LONGTIME AGO, WHEN WE HAD INSURANCE AND PROPERTIES, HE RUINED US FINANCIALLY, AND IT WAS ME WHO HAD TO PICK UP THE PIECES, AND ALL ALONG HE HAD COMMITTED ADULTERY, ALSO I HAVE THIS DOUBT, FEELING EVR SINCE I MARRIED HIM, FROM HIS BEHAVIOUR, THAT HE IS A BYSEXUAL OR HOMOSEXUAL, I ONCE ASKED HIM BUT HE DENIED IT**
YES THE WAY I WAS BROUGHT UP , WHAT I SAW IN THE FAMILY ENVIRONMENT , MY PARENTS BEHAVIOUR WITH EACH OTHER, THE VERBAL ABUSE, EMOTIONAL, HAD A NEGATIVE IMPACT IN MY OWN LIFE, MADE ME SUBMISSIVE, WEAK, FEARFULL, SCARED, MY FATHER WAS A BULLY, MANIPULATIVE AND NARCISSISTIC, MY MOTHE HIS WILLING VICTIM, AND SHE TURNED ME INTO ANOTHER VICTIM, FOR SO MANY YEARS, INSTEAD OF DEFENDING ME, HELPING ME, SHE NEVER ASKED HOW I WAS, SHE NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT ME***NOBODY DID**
AT TIMES I FEEL ALONE IN MY HEART, I MISS THE LOVING ARMS OF A LOVING HUSBAND, SOMEONE TO HOLD ME AND LOVE ME, AND I DIDN'T NOTHING WRONG TO DESERVE THIS, I BELIEVED HE LOVED ME, BUT HE NEVER DID***
I SLEEP ALONE, MY LITTLE DOG ,LOVES ME, MY DAUGHTER, BUT ITS NOT THE SAME, I WONDER WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE TRULY IN LOVE , BECAUSE I NEVER WILL KNOW**
TODAY I AM GOING TO DO ALL I CAN TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, GIVE A HUG TO MY DAUGHTER ,COOK SOME SOUP, AND PRAY FOR HEALING FOR MY HEART, AND YOURS, LOVE **

I don't post here much, although I should. How I'm feeling.... distraught. Hopeless. It's like there isn't a fight left in me anymore.

HELLO AIMEE, SO SORRY DARLING, KEEP GOING AND NEVER GIVE UP, LOVE LUCY**

I dont know how describe how im feeling guese at this piont in time im num found out dat ebry ding them peoplz said waz true i am realy on my own an i am retarted i am scizoaffective i dont under stand wut it meanz but i got sorrta a idea i am un love able un wantable an i will die alone i aint sad any more i dont wana die any more i dont know wut i wana do or eben wut i am gese num iz good cuz datz just how it iz waz tryin ta make sef happy but failed tryed ta run away dey found me any wayz so know stuck un sure wut ta feel or who even am