I'm still struggling with controlling my emotions. I know the serenity prayer brings me great calm when I get angry (which doesn't happen often but when it does watch out!) and beyond that, still working on it! Looking forward to some other peoples thoughts on this!

Hi,

I like what Melody Beattie suggests, that we deal with emotions by feeling them and then look at our thinking to see if we are on track or not. I often feel anger about other people's behavior. Often it is nonsense stuff and when I think about it, my anger has usually been a cue that I am not taking care of myself (as in sticking up for myself or saying "no"). Now, I try to see what I am thinking that is creating the feeling. If I am annoyed about a request, then it usually means I need to decline or put my foot down in a nice way. It has taken me quite a long time to get here.

Shar

im having this problem now. i either loss my head or go numb and i loss the ability to express myself. the only healthy thing that helps me is to just write, it doesn't have to be about my emotions, it just helps me get something out. sorry im not very helpful.

Through years....decades...of depression, the best thing that I have learned is that the only way to deal with emotions is to allow them to just be. If I fight off an emotion, I end up feeling awful. If I stuff an emotion, I end up feeling like I've let myself down. Instead, I just sit down with it....literally. I plant my butt on the couch, in a chair, wherever I might be, and I simply let myself feel what I feel. Sometimes I might ask myself why I feel that way and sometimes I don't. Sometimes there is good cause and sometimes I haven't the foggiest idea why I feel as I do. If I don't like what I'm feeling, then I usually try to figure out what made me feel that way and adjust my actions or reactions so that I don't repeat the issue. But for the most part, when I just simply allow the feeling to be there, I'm usually ok with it....even if its sadness or anger.

The hard part about handeling our emmotions is, they go everywhere. So to handel our emmotions, we need to take them day by day, and slowly as we get a grip on them and biger picture starts to emmerge. We cant be one way all the time, because our emmotions arent. Just like we as people are all different.

Sharmlynn,

Melodie Beattie also has some great relaxation recordings which may be available in the books on CD section of bookstores; I'll have to check.

I have red hair, so people accuse me of having a temper, but it's not really true. What happens is that redheads get picked on for being a minority, and every once in a while one of us stands up against it. That creates the stereotype that redheads have tempers.

With a lot of therapy, patience, experience in life and facing consequences, I have little by little learned to read my own mind and body as to what is exactly what I am feeling.

My parents vented every single frustration or fear they had as well as their own depression by braking their childrens' spirit. Also, I used to talk about emotions in a negative way, since one tends to think about those that are not so comfortable to express. Happiness and joy are emotions too. So I learned to identify how I feel, express it, and express it in ways that are not harmful to me or others.

Easier said than done since this goes to the core of my OCD and PTSD.

I've had a lot of trouble dealing with overwhelming emotions. I developed coping mechanisms, not always healthy ones, that work to some extent.

In public, I try to use self control. It's what I've done my whole life...stay calm on the outside and seething on the inside. But emotions do come out one way or another...so I try to find outlets and distractions to deal with them. Exercise helps, and I do things like gardening, which calms me down. I used to do a lot of kayaking, until I started a business that took all my time...then someone stole my kayak and I never got another one.

So I essentially stifle and control, redirect, distract, and try to calm myself. But sometimes nothing works, and I have a lot of trouble trying to deal with runaway emotions. I never knew why I am like this, until recently...when I figured out that it was something that came from being abused in various ways. I used to think that I was somehow genetically programmed to have all this mental anguish and stress all the time.

It takes very little to trigger me...like today it was a rude telemarketer who did not understand the word No until I started yelling. I've been a little wound-up ever since that call.

Hi Everyone,

RichieD, I can relate about the anguish, the anger and trying to keep a lid on it. Even though I keep working at it, sometimes I tell myself things that just fuel the fire. Today after doing some running around, I stopped a small grocery store. When I left, I noticed what I thought was a small chip in the door. It was really small, but it bugged me all the way home. I was actually telling myself maybe I was being punished (again) for some reason.

I was also stewing about the young woman who had parked next to me. I had to wait for her to finish getting organized so I could get into my car. I was fine with that, but then I started blaming her in my head about the car and I became angry. All the way home, instead of enjoying the ride on a beautiful spring day, I was obsessing about this so-called chip. Long story short, got home and it was nothing- something was stuck on, there was no damage, there was no chip and I wiped it off my car. And then I thought about all the negative energy, blaming and obsessing I had done over nothing - not to mention the amount of time I wasted worrying about it. It is a constant battle for me to keep my focus and my thoughts out of the garbage. Hard to let go, but if we can, we are showing love to self.

Shar

I do exactly the same things every day, Shar. It's like my emotions are all simmering and just a little more heat makes the lid come off the pot. Even while these things are happening to me, I know it's not rational.

It's like when I get obsessed with an internet search and can't stop...I know it's not reasonable to keep flipping to more pages, but the hours go by and even though I want to...I can't stop.

I hate losing control, of reacting inappropriately to things that don't bother other people at all. Sometimes I can regain control through force of will, sometimes I can't. I hate having all this emotional turbulence inside me.

I try to avoid triggers and keep calm. This morning I took a big bucket and went around the yard pulling weeds. After filling the bucket a couple of times, I felt better...calmer.