Working on week two

Ok, so this week should be so much better. I reread week two's entry and will practice the exercise. I was actually able to use it late last week. I have gotten little sleep in the last few days because the baby is adjusting to a sleeping schedule since she is more awake now. I felt frustrated because it was 2 am and after her feeding, I didn't go back to sleep. More upsetting was that I felt my husband did not want to help even though he knew how tired I was feeling. I started to feel all the symptoms of an anxiety attack. I even felt faint. Then, I felt a new symptom, I started to shake. I got very shaky which kind of threw me off. I put the baby down and immediately walked out to the patio to breath. I sat down for while and started to take deep breaths along with telling myself I was going to be ok. Slowly, I started to feel more alert and calm. When I went back inside, I was still upset but I tried to sleep. When I woke up, I talked to my husband and let him know that I needed more help than what I was getting. He understood and has made more of an effort to help. I understand that anxiety is caused by my thoughts. At that moment, my thoughts were of how upset and mad I was at him for not getting up. Had I steered away from the thoughts and tried to talk to him about what I was feeling right then and there, I could have avoided the anxiety. Since then, I have not felt the same. I am still very tired, mainly because of the lack of sleep and my thyroid levels off, but I feel more optimistic and in control of the anxiety. Every once in a while, I still feel a little bit of fear for an anxiety attack. I know that I can have more control, I guess I am just scared of anxiety while I'm alone with my baby girl. But at the same time, I know that its about where I steer the situation. So today I am restarting week two. I intend on working on this plan religiously. On a happy note, I am doing great with my studying for my exam on June 14th. I am surprised that although I am very tired and lack sleep, I still manage to learn. I am very hopeful that I will pass the exam this time and am doing my best to pass. That alone has made me happier. So we'll see how week two goes =)

Replies

AdventureGuide
AdventureGuide

Wonderful!

You are doing great. You have made great strides...really! The fact that you are thinking through your symptoms, thoughts, actions and reactions is such a key. I love that you now realize that if you are assertive....not agressive (you will learn this in a later week).... That you can avoid all sorts of anxiety producing situations. Letting your husband know that you needed help was huge. So many time we let ourself get overwhelmed with things that would go so much smoother with an extra pair of hands. Assertiveness allows you to say what you need in a honest kind way....without having to stress yourself out and end up angry.

Bravo....you are doing fantastic!

Love that baby!
Adrizo
Adrizo

Thank you so much for the support. To have someone understand this journey makes the difference. Im a fighter and always will be. All I ask of life is to be happy. So I know your help came at a time in which I would need it the most. :)