Why I am here
When I was 14 I realized how alone I was in the world. I had very few friends and my family was never there when I needed them. I had nobody to turn to for help or comfort when I was hurting. I fell into a depression and was at times suicidal. I have been dealing with this for the last 14 years on my own. Everytime I went through a dark spell I came out of it a weaker person. It takes a part of me away. This year everything fell apart. I fell into that hole and couldn't find my way out. Everything I tried failed, and I would fall deeper. It has noticeably effected my job and my relationships. My family barely speaks to me anymore. Most of my coworkers hate being around me. My supervisors didn't know what to say to me. I am feeling better now, more awake. I now see what I have done to the people I care about and don't know how to right my wrongs. I finally told two of my supervisors why my behavior was what it was, and I apologized for my work performance and personal feelings that I brought on them. I hope things are finally going in the right direction, but I am worried of how they are going to react to my news. I need them to be understanding and support me, but I don't know that I deserve to ask for their help after what I have done. I don't have anyone else to go to. I miss having them as friends and want to rebuild that relationship. I can't tell though if they want the same thing and I don't know how to ask them without feeling like a fool.