Very overwhelmed

I have been sitting here..bawling..and even feeling angry with some family members. Amy saw the breast surgeon this afternoon. He wants to put her under general anesthsia and remove the whole tumor. (gee..thought that was the purpose of the surgery) Then he said that when he got in there, he may just take some large tissue samples and leave the rest. Amy said that Dr. Tripp listened to her as she told him about her fears, her medical history: degenerative neuropathy, her pulmonary disease, being bipolar, obesity, etc. He said that he would have to discuss everything with Dr. Nadruse and Dr. Hussani (pulmonary & neurologist) but wanted to get her lungs functioning at their best, all things considered and get her into surgery asap. He did discuss venting her, which terrifies Amy. She told him about her 3 "dirt naps" last year. He was very compassionate and very sensative to Amy's fears.  Amy noticed when she was filling out the paperwork, that Dr. Tripp doesn't accept her insurance. (blue-care/TNNcare) Because she was referred to him by the Cheyenne breast center, he'll take her case..pro bono. The finacial lady told her not to worry about anything having to do with finances. Praise the Lord!  I am so  very overwhelmed right now..that I can't seem to think straight. Meanwhile, my sister is angry with me because I told her I was going to see Amy before surgery so we could do some girlie things together and we would have to celebrate our birthday at a later date. Her sister is doing the "poor pitiful me" and using Amy as an excuse for her stess as she starts yet another semester for her master's degree, while working "my butt off..... I'm so broke I can barely breathe." etc. Well, if you have money for a mani and a pedi, dinner out with the girls and a movie...take a breath, because the many of us can't afford to do that. It's called Priorities! Amy is facing death on a daily basis, facing a difficult surgery..and  you two are whining about YOURSELVES! Oh & BTW....mom/sis has meniere's and is wondering how she is going to get to TN without a panic attack...and trying to figure out how she is going to drive in a big city on her own! Honestly! My sister actually said " I hope the surgeon will wait until after our Birthday. They don't work on Labor Day anyway...so let's not cancel our plans. Plans? The plan is to come to sis's house and let her wait on us hand and foot. The house will be clean for all of about 5 mins..because those two are more distructive than a hurricane! Please...give me a break..will you? Amy is very sensative to my disease. It makes her cry. She knows this is very difficult for me...I'm her mommy! Sometimes I really get angry when people are so stinking selfish and inconsiderate of other people's circumstances. Life isn't always about me,me,me! Show some compassion for a change. Amy's sister doesn't even call or text her! Her aunt doesn't call her either....come on people! You tell the whole world how upset you are about Amy and how she's dying..but you don't give her the time of day! I guess I don't understand it. Maybe they just don't get it. If they would just take the time to talk to Amy..they may find out just how strong she is. They may find out how compassionate she is for others. They may find out about her faith and how it sustains her. But no...Amy is a convienent excuse for their problems..and to get the Aw, I'm sorry from friends...or their employers. Forgive me for venting...I just had to get these feeling out. It makes me so sad..and mad at the same time.

Replies

janiecf
janiecf

i am here , can they do the surgery and \"out her under\'. I guess I watch too much grey\'s. Can we ever me us again.. My son came home after along 2days off and believe me i know when one has done too mtch. He yelled at me to leave him a lone. Dinner with daughter \"chopped salad\" God Pleawe let me sleep after all of this... I got to do the water and the dogs and the cats.. I can do it . I made coffee for son (butt hole) excuse me that he can be, I look forwad to dinner with baby and daughter , excuse my frech but poo on my son.. I love family and that has been all that means the most to me, that and friends.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Junipers, I don\'t know if this will work or not, but it\'s something I do if I\'m stressed and can\'t get away from anything. Find a quiet place, no noise, no people bothering you, nothing. Then close your eyes and take a deep breathe. Now, picture in your mind some place that you\'d like to be, whether it\'s at the beach, a mountain stream, or whatever. Exhale very slowly, and just imagine being at that place, hearing the birds, etc and just let the peace seep into your soul. You may need to do this a few time until you\'ve had some practice at this. You\'ll feel calmer, and better able to cope after this mini vacation.
junipers
junipers

Thank you. I usually get \"down time\" which is my alone time with God to pray for others..and it usually lulls me into a power nap. Amy\'s dad and I got her an efficiency apt..no place for me to be alone. Bob wants me to stay at a hotel, but I can\'t do that unless Amy is with me so I can take care of her. Her boyfriend is living with her while he takes some classes so he can work for the union. I\'m guessing that privacy will be minimul at best. I\'ll go hang out in the chapel at the hospital or take a walk around alone to decompress. I am ADD, so I usually don\'t sit still for very long. LOL. I will try your method..thinking of the cabin in NM where we went as kids to waterski on the weekends. Can almost smell the sage as I write. Thanks for being there for me.
junipers
junipers

Ok..I think Janiecf went to Dizzinnj LOL.Trust me when I understand how you feel about your son...we seem to have the same problems...the \"leave me alone\" stuff..unless ofcourse they want something from you. All I want is for Amy to be ok.Bob came home and I told him about Becca and Jane..and he wasn\'t too happy about their attitudes. He asked me if I wanted him to go with me, but he just started a new job..and is in training. Sweet to offer though. He\'s not only concerned about Amy, but is worried about me having to do too much.We both know what that leads to. He wants me to stay at a hotel, but that really defeats the purpose of me being there. I\'ll have to assess the situation when I get there. Amy needs so much..a fridge, a dependable car, and a vacume cleaner & glasses. Will go early so that we can get some of this taken care of prior to surgery. I\'m looking forward to giving her a huge mommy hug..and to be hugged by her. To heckadoodle with the rest!
deleted_user
deleted_user

sorry i don\'t know much about amy yet but she sounds like she has a lot of problems and the breast surgery is very scary,my daughter was last week told she has abnormal cells in the cervix,this is the second time and she will have to have a biopsy when she comes home from holiday she\'s petrified and so am i so i know what you are feeling and no doubt amy is scared too,i wish her well with the surgery and hope it all comes out ok,keep strong,ellie
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ellie, did they do anything the 1st time? Many years ago (like 20) I had precancerous cells. I had laser surgery to remove them. Then, years later, I had another abnormal pap smear. Plus, I had a prolasped uterus. So, I had a hysterectomy. They left the ovaries so I wouldn\'t be thrown into menopause.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much that changed my life! I fought against the idea for a year, but then decided since I was in my mid 30s, had 2 children, and didn\'t want more, why not? And, I have a freedom I never had b4. I wouldn\'t go back if I could!
junipers
junipers

Both of you know how I feel. Amy has papaloma cells, and the doctor scrapes them out after putting vinegar in her uterus.(makes the cells turn white)She went in for her pap, and he immediately sent her over for a mammo and ultrasound due to the lump. She\'ll have to get her pap sometime after the surgery. I\'m glad that you had a doctor who left your ovaries in. Menopause is a bitch. Excuse my language, but it really gives ya a short fuse. Am glad I started early and am done! So many of us take our health for granted. So many people are going through, or have gone through so much! Blessed by both of you. Thanks.
deleted_user
deleted_user

here they scrape the cells off( they found them before,then 6 mnth\'s later the test was negative and this time they are positive again) she also needs something else done but can\'t think of what it is
my daughter is 29 has a partner but not married yet,she has never wanted children so probably wouldn\'t fret over a hysterectomy exept in the way of losing some femeninity(which i don\'t believe it does,it\'s the thought of it)
lol menopause is a bitch for sure ,i started at 36 and thought by the time i was 40 oh well i\'m safe(stupid yes) so i fell with this daughter,mind you i\'m not sorry she\'s a great kid
i too have a prolapse and have been to see a specialist but now they want all sorts of urine tests done as well,not looking forward to it but i do need the op for it eventually so will put up with their rubbish i guess

amy has a lot of problems i really hope all goes well with her,she will be in my thought\'s,ellie
junipers
junipers

Thanks Ellie. Isn\'t it nice to be post menopausal? I just finished going through that when I then got Meniere\'s.Sigh. I\'m basically a healthy person..get sinus infections..but other than that, ok. My twin sister had a hysterectomy when she was early 40\'s. She always had horrible bleeding problems..since she was in her teens. At 14 she had to have a DNC! She had to have everything taken out and went directly through menopause. I don\'t feel any less of a women because I\'ve gone through menopause. It\'s not too great to fight \"new\" sprouts of facial hair..LOL...but tweezers take care of that. Maybe they want to do a DNC on your daughter. I had to have my bladder checked out for having blood in my urine. It\'s an embarrassing exam..doesn\'t hurt and no cancer was found. Now if blood shows up, it\'s \"normal.\" Sometimes it does and other times it doesn\'t. My insurance only allows a physical/pap test every 2 yrs...a bone density test and a mammo. Amy has her bad days, but the majority of the time, she has a wonderful sense of humor. I\'m looking forward to seeing her. We had a \"gals\" vacation last summer..sister, aunts and me. It was fun and Amy really had a good time. I\'ll keep you posted. Tuesday can\'t come soon enough for both of us.
deleted_user
deleted_user

we are very lucky here if you need a mammo gram it\'s free for everyone,my pap smear is free for me and anyone on a pension,all dr visits are free to someone on a pension we have public and private hospitals,people who earn over $70.000 a yr have to be in private medical benefits and go to private hospitals,anyone can go to them if they have enough money lol
people complain about our public hospitals but they are free for every one,i went to public for the ent specialist and am going for the prolapse,the attention is just as good just a bit slower as the list waiting is longer

i get nasty sinusses as well have a rotten sinus headache most nights and go to bed early to sleep it off lol they are a pain

glad you can have fun with amy,yes please keep us posted,ellie