Trying to move on

Im trying to learn how to live again.  36yr old mother of 4 children. I suffered mild heart attack and had to have heart cath done on Dec. 18th (my sisters birthday) the Dr. Found thst one of tge 3main arteries thst go to your heart was 95%blocked. He placed a stent to open thst artery. As that wasnt terrifying enough, i suffered hemotoma after and had to be clamped for almost 4 hours. Im very lucky to be here. I believe God gave me a second chance at life. Life for me to be the mother he knows i am and i believe there is a purpose im here. The purpose im yet to figure out yet. I cant get past the thought of almost dying and leaving my children behind. Im their leader. I cry bc i was so close. I camt seem to get on. My leg is awful. tbpugh its not as bruised the pain is still tgere from the clamp. I relive this day in my head over and over. I take 8 different meds every day. And will have to the rsst of my life. Im so scared this will happen again. I just need support. I need to talk abpit it. Tats why im here.