Sometimes we let a little thought fester in our heads and it starts to eat at us. Like this thought about substituting her for my failed relationships. Thats just wrong. I am not gonna do that. Yes I have failed at romantic relationships this is true but so what? Being in a relationship doesnt make you well and not being in one doesnt make you unwell. I love her and i am always gonna do my best with raising her. I am going to care for her and give her all that I can. I dont have to be in a romantic relationship to raise her properly. I may need to pay attention to some emotional issues more closely to guard against being codependent or something but she and I can have a healthy relationship even if i dont ever have another romantic relationship. Sometimes it doesnt help to get in my head and start feeling sorry for myself. I dont know why it happens sometimes but I do have coping skills and I can get through all of this. I have been working on positive self talk for a long time now. I dont need to wallow anymore I just need to find the truth. There are alot of things in my life that I need to work out and work on. I didnt have evrything I needed all the time, but you know what? Thats okay. It builds character. I am gonna be the best mom I can be but if I make a mistake it wont be the last time and it wont be the first time anyone ever messed up being a mom. There is a saying that says that success is measured by the amount of times one gets back up after a 'failure'. I can succeed at this. I will get up everytime i make a mistake and you know what else? sometimes I will get it right. She will have love always no matter what happens.