The Test

Had marriage counselling last night, therapist ha us take a test. A 'how well do you know your mate', like the ones in found in most womens mags, but a professional one. 25 questions about do you know your partners best friends? what stress them out? is your sex life satisfying? romance? passion and heat? etc. 15 or more yes answers and you have a stable marriage,  8-14 yes answers and you have a stable marriage, but need to work on some things,  7 or less your marriage is in serious trouble. I scored a 5, she scored a 6. The only questions we could answer honestly were the ones about what stresses your partner out.I found out that I don't really have a life goal to speak of, I never really thought about one,  I've always been a 'go with flow' person. The questions that we agreed on were; 'is your sex life satisfying? romance? passion and heat?'. So the therapist gave us homework to do, when the kids are in bed, "spend 30 minutes a night finding out about each other". after I put the kids in bed, she was already in bed, I thought "great she won't even talk to me about the homework", but 10 minutes later we did talk for 10 minutes. she said that she didn't know if she wanted the 'passion and heat'. Oh yeah, when the therapist asked us about our sex life I said that its been months since we've had sex. The therapist said to me "that must be hard for you", then tried to explain to my wife that thats too long and a man needs sex. Sex to men is how we 'make-up' after an arguement, to which my wife laughed and said that sex is not important to her and doesn't care if she ever has sex again. Now I REALLY feel like "just the sperm donor" , it could have been any male.

Replies

flutterbyfly
flutterbyfly

I\'m sorry you are feeling so bad honey. I\'m sure many of us would fail those surveys during our marriages. I really hope you all can take the time to get to know each other better. I\'m so proud of you for going to counseling and trying. I dont\' have much to say right now. I\'m not doing so hot myself. But I love ya!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I don\'t know what to say...i\'m sorry that you are having marital issues. I really hope that things improve for you guys. Just remember that you deserve to be happy too. (hugs)
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m sorry Man:( I know about some of what your going thru. Hang in there:)
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m just realizing myself how important sex is to a man, my guy said they need it the same as women need all the emotional stuff, and it\'s not in a \"dirty horny\" way but that is how they get their \"connection\" we (men and women) are wired soooo differentely! could you maybe get your therapist to try to explain that to her? sorry you\'re going through this.