The most cliche confession of love one can give...

Do you know what love is?  Like actually know?  The amazing feeling of knowing you will never find someone as perfect as the one you know? 
It sucks.
I'm not gunna lie.  Love is a bitch.  The one I love...truly my best friend.  He is someone I know, for a fact, will never be able to find again.  A person I would easily sacrifice anything for.  He is a man I would never question. 
I love him.
And it kills me...because he would never think of me as anything more than a friend.
As difficult as the depression and the cutting (correct: not cutting...I'm doing fairly well) and the failing school and the anxiety for my job, etc.  The worst part is knowing that the man I love CANNOT love me back.
In all honesty?  I would-without question-try to seduce him and love him like none other.  However, as amazing friends that we are, he would refuse and deny this. Which is one of the most painful responses I've ever come to know. 
Why do I always have to be the friend? ...I shouldn't say always...although I've had a fuck buddy and a few interests...I've never had feelings for these men.  I've only ever truly wanted one person...and I don't get to have him.  It's a completely different type of hell than the hell I've experienced in my life.
He's in my life almost everyday.  He's there all the time.  He KNOWS my deepest, darkest secrets.  He knows almost everything.  However, he's the one I won't ever get to kiss.  How is that not the most painful?  I've experienced so much much pain...God...why can't I have love?  For once, could someone love me back and not leave me?? Seriously???!!!
Until you have loved...
And love can come at any age, and at any time.  However, once you find it, you will realize that it is impossible to let go.  It is impossible to forget.  It is a feeling that will become a part of you and transform your very being.  Love is not a fickle idea.  It is a revelation.  It is a way of life. 
It is hell.