struggling

This morning I tossed and turned. Worrying about things out of my control. My anxiety got the best of me and even though I tried to do my breathing excersizes they didnt work. Instead of doing my regular 10 minutes of meditation I did about 25 just trying to clear my mind for the work day. My heart and mind feel heavy. Im doing my best to not give in and do things I shouldnt. I need some positive stories to get me through the day. 


It comes closer and closer to the day Im going to be living in my house alone. Ive never lived alone and im worried about how I am going to handle things. My anxiety keeps rising as im dreading sunday.. 


I need to focus. I spent a lot of time researching meditation last night so that I can create some good out of my roommates old room. Im going to turn it into a zen room. Im going to buy meditation pillows, and get a bunch of incense, oil diffusers, and crystals. Just to have an escape room. Does anyone have anything similar? 


I also looked into indoor gardening for herbs and some of my favourite flowers and Im hoping that makes my house feel more like a home. 


Feel free to add me as a friend on here and send me messages, everything is appreciated..

Replies

TotalRegret
TotalRegret

Hi RC. I think creating that meditation pace/safe place is a brilliant idea, not just because it will give you a specific place that is solely just for your well-being, but it's also good because you are taking action in an area of your life where you DO have control, so well done!! Adding fragrances and background noise (white noise or something, so long as it's not intrusive) will also help you to be mindful - in the here and now - what can I smell? What do the cushions feel like? Focusing on the white noise... It all will help. Try and get in the habit of pausing before you go into that safe place and make a conscious effort to drop all of the baggage at the door and focus on your breathing. Once you've tuned in to that, you're ready to go in and get on. Any unwanted thoughts while in there, just mindfully place them outside the door with the other garbage and move on. Again, I think this is a great move for you - fantastic!! TR
bornconfused
bornconfused

the Zen room and indoor garden sound lovely! Im inspired to do some research on that as well!

Hang in there @rcurtis1010, you are strong! you CAN get through this... we BOTH can :D
rcurtis1010
rcurtis1010

I honestly just want to love being at home because right now it doesn't feel like a safe, relaxing and peaceful place to be. In fact I have been avoiding going home at all costs for about a year. If I do I shut myself in my room and its gotten to be a place where I cry a lot and overthink and I hate that.
I wish that this zen room could all come together as soon as my roommate leaves but bills have left me hanging till next Friday (payday) so I have to wait at least a week before I start. I am going to plan the whole room out and do some window shopping to relieve some disappointment.
You guys are my support group and youre so encouraging. Thank you so much.
much love <3