still in hospital

i'm still in hospital n cud be here p to another week :( i av to go outside every time i want a cig which is really getting on my nerves.i'm pretty depressed right now,if i were at home i'd be cutting right now or getting drunk so maybe its a good thing im not.i was planning on starting open university in september but now i aint so sure,i'll probli just fail n even if i dont wats the poinnt? even if i pass it n manage to get a job i can do from home like i was hoping i still will be depressed n on my girl would want to be with someone who hears voices inn his life just seems so pointless,im a drain on the economy,sometimes i just wish my mum would die in her sleep so id be able to kill myself then.i feel like im trapped in a prisson called life. i want out,i hop i get mrsa n just die. fml