So frustrated

i was doing good.. then last night, whether it was the full moon or the anniv of dads death approaching on the 10th, i just took a dive.  i start thinking of all the things that upset me about life or situations and go with it.  taking it out on the people around me that i love and just completely being negative and questioning the point of everything.  like where is that gonna get met?  alone in my bed with racing thoughts and 5 hours of fitful, interrupted sleep.. the whole time thinking what a mess i STILL am and that my present and future are already doomed no matter how hard i try. ughhhh