Skylar\'s 1st Birthday today

Today marks Skylar's 1st birthday. Her tiny body born at 7:41 pm weighing 14.5 oz and 12 in long, 1 year ago. Its been a very long and very hard week. I am trying to stay smiling for my other 2 children, but they are feeling it too. My 12 year old cought me crying in the kitchen, and she hugged me and told me that it would be ok, Skylar misses me too. That of course caused the tears to flow more, because i hadn't told her why i was crying. I'm hoping that things get easier, but so far.. i havent really been out of bed in 2 days.