Planning ahead.

I just decided to not celebrate my birthday two months from now. Why? Because it isn't worth it. I wake up and get a few loving embraces from my family, but that's all I get. I play games and try to be positive until we go get my cake and bring it home. Then my sister goes off with her boyfriend and when the night comes, I sit in my dining room while my parents scream at each other over something that has nothing to do with. So I'm sitting at my table watching my candles burning as tears roll down my cheeks. I blow out the flames and wish the same thing that I've wished for during my last five birthdays. "I wish my life would get better." Then I get hit full force that I have no friends or family that care about me. I fall face first into pained depression and throw my cake into the trash without tasting it. Then I walk to my room and cry myself to sleep. I'm sick of every year not being different. My current lifestyle already makes me want to OD and die. Why add more wood to the fire?