My "wonderful" day off

Today was just plain awful. Not just bad, beyond that. I've been fighting almost constantly with my boyfriend all day, and that kills me. I finally got the courage to talk to him about seeing a doctor about my depression and self hurt, and his reaction was not the one I'd thought I'd see. I guess I thought he would be alot more supportive since it's been hard on him. Instead he was skeptical, sacrastic and judgemental. My hurt from that caused fights all today and the day just got worse. It got to the point where we discussed breaking up. Neither of us want that, but we are sick of the fighting and crying (crying on my part). I really do think that getting some kind of help would help us, take the pressure of him. Not that I put pressure on him, he just says that when he sees me struggling with my depression and SI, he blames himself because "I'm your boyfriend - I'm supposed to make you happy." I don't know where to go with this now, because I feel like I knew what I was going to do and now I'm lost again.

Replies

evangelica
evangelica

his reaction may have been a way of coping with what you told him.some people dont cope well with self harming.it shocks people and freaks them,they dont understand why people would wanto hurt themselves to feel better.
maybe you wanting to get outside help makes him think he isnt enough to get you through this.
i think you may find if you leave talking about it again just for a few days it will give him time to think about what you have said.
im not a doctor,but ive seen a psychiatrist for 10 years and been under the mental health system for 20 years.in my opinion you could benefit from professional help ofsome kind.
the way you talk about your animals shows how sensitive you are and caring.i think a therapist could really help you.thats just my opinion though
take care
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rac146
rac146

thanks. I\'m planning on leaving him be for a few days anyway. It\'s not like he doesnt know about my self harm or depression though, I told him after we\'d been together about a month so that way he could make his own choice and he wanted to stay, which I love him for but at this point I do think I could benefit from some help. It\'s not just about me anymore, it\'s about the people my depression is hurting.
pinkpumpkin143
pinkpumpkin143

awww i am sorry that his reaction left u confused again :( u need someone who is going to love u for who u are.