my Friend's Son

RA is a decent friend/AlAnon member I've gotten toknow slowly.  When her 47-yr-old son was found dead by her recently, we all mourned with her.  Now she's gotten the death certificate.  She'd known the son had diabetes, and trouble with blood clots, so she had encouraged him to move around to avoid the clots, and he was an oxy addict, and Group Health was cutting him back on the pills just at the same time he said he was having greater pain.  Well, being addicted means you get treated a certain way.  He died alone in great pain, of undiagnosed lymphoma. THat was listed as the cause of death.  So sad, and so frustrating for her. She is angry; she is sure he had not a clue of his condition. But here were docs who were unwilling to look beyond the addiction to see if other help could be provided.
 I am of two minds about this, being a step removed from her grieving.  One mind says 'That;s what addiction will get you" and the other mind says everyone deserves gentle loving care, especially if they are on the way out. And a second look by their doctor.  Not just a glance at a chart.
 

Replies

mom-of-3
mom-of-3

How very sad. I am so sorry for your friend\'s loss and for you. Unfortunately, I can see why some doctors have this attitude when addiction is part of the problem. I have a \"friend\" (I look at him a bit differently now) who is an emergency room doctor and he\'s been pretty transparent of his frustrations and attitudes about addicts. It\'s sad but since he hasn\'t been directly touched by a loved one with these problems - who am I to judge him? I know now (through another doctor friend ~ who happens to be in recovery from pain med addiction) that new doctors are being trained. In fact, my friend was invited to speak to these doctors about addiction and how they should be treated. Finally.......