My Cousin

Been awhile since I have written - sorry.  I don't seem to keep up with things as well as I use to.  Maybe again one day.
My cousins daughter who was 31 was killed Sunday evening in a terrible motorcycle accident not too far from home.  She was the passenger on the back of her boyfriend's motorcycle - they was just out enjoying the beautiful weather we had been having.  They were on a bad road for bikes to ride and hit a Ford Expedition head on.  The boyfriend survived however I do not know yet his condition.  She was pronounced dead at UAB Hospital here in Birmingham, same hospital as my son's death and her viewing is tonight and funeral tomorrow, at the same funeral home as my son was.  I have to go to this viewing tonight and I'm not sure how I am going to handle walking in those same doors again and I am almost sure I will not be able to go in and see her or her pictures, not sure if it is open casket or not yet.  I will be unable to attend the funeral but even if I could I know I wouldn't be able to.  I went to their house yesterday after work and that was so hard.  My cousin's wife was pretty well sedated but as I know and sure most of us it wasn't enough that she didn't know who people were and it didn't keep her from crying uncontrollably and how I relate.  I sat with her for a long time in the bedroom in the chair next to her bed and just held her hand.  She kept asking me how did I do this, how did I put my baby in a box and leave him in the ground and how was she suppose to do this.  I had no answers because as we all know this was the hardest thing we ever had to do for our child.  She kept asking me how I lived day to day without Chris cause she just didn't think she could do it.  Again I had no answers because I still don't know how I wake up every morning and try to function every day.  My heart just hurt so badly for her because I know what her and my cousin will now go through the rest of their lives.  And my heart hurt all over again (not that it stopped hurting) reliving that night and days after when I lost my baby.  And I cried all the way home.
Please keep my cousin and his wife and family and all the rest of us family members in your thoughts and prayers and we once again go through yet another death of a life taken too young!
Much love and hugs to all!
~Sandi