Mom's Birthday

Today is mom's birthday.  It has been over a year since she passed and the time is coming to fulfill my promise to her.  A few hours before she died, while she was still aware, I promised her I would make myself happy again.  I promised I would not let M drive me any further into dispair.  I promised I would not let my boys grow up in a family where there was only one sided love.
I know deep in my soul that my relationship with my boys would be so much better without the shadow of my failing marriage looming over us.  No longer would I be obsessed with pleasing her; hoping by doing so she would love me again.
The boys know....they ask "Dad, why won't mom hold your hand?"  "Dad, why is mom so mean to you?"