It's already bad enough...

Im seriously sad right now. Its already bad enough that were separated for such a long period of time. I don't even know how to deal with that. Now he's off with his family and has no internet connection so we can't speak or email. I hate that all these damn things keep adding up. One after another. First I find out he can't come home, then I find out I can't see him til maybe december, which isn't even a certainty, now I find out I can't even speak to him or even hear from him for x amount of days. Sigh. I hate that this stuff keeps adding up. It's not fair. I can't even stay on top of my own goals because I am so depressed. I pray and try to keep my faith and I feel soo lost because not one good thing has come of this. I'm looking forward to some positive but where is it? I feel like a ghost. I feel like I'm not even here. I go out and I feel like I'm just watching others enjoy and I'm just some apparition that comes into view once in a while. I'm not myself. I don't know who the hell I am anymore. He isn't as emotional as me and I feel hurt about that. I just want to feel like I'm not soo alone. I know he cares and I can't rely on him for my support but how!? Sigh. Help me please...