Is this really married life?

I have got to figure out what to do. I feel like things are getting so bad here. I've been sad and a little bitter lately. I had a terrible weekend where I just didn't get any attention from James. I'm beginning to hate football. I've seen guys who like sports, but James is getting way to consumed by it. And when he does pay attention, too much of it is making fun of things I do, how I say something, or how I laugh at something. He says he's just playing with me, but it makes me really self conscious. I tell him that it hurts my feelings. He just says 'don't take it that way, I'm just playing with you'. And 'You know how I like to joke'... and so on, and so on. I think if I tell him it hurts, he should stop. I just want him to go back to the way he used to be. I don't like these changes. I've told him that too. How can you continue to stay motivated to communicate when someone is blowing off what you say?
I just feel ignored and I hate it. I don't see him for more than an hour a day during the week, so to lose out on my weekend time is hard. I've been holding back just breaking down and screaming and crying. Why do men do that after they are married? I didn't believe family and friends when they told me that this time would come, when our connection wouldn't feel so strong. When the sex would slow way down (that is another sore point with me because I'm not happy with the current decrease in that activity, and I don't feel I'm given a choice in that). I thought we were so close. I thought that he enjoyed spending time with me. In short, I thought I was number one in his life. Now I feel like I fall somewhere below work, then sports. I'm number three... maybe.  What a horrible feeling.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hi. Since I have never been in a relationship myself I can only imagine how hurtful it must be to be in a committed relationship and to have your partner not take your feelings seriously. I think when it comes to relationships a lot of guys work very hard in the beginning to, lets say get the girl and after that they become very laxed not realizing that getting married is not the end of the romance but it\'s just the beginning. I only wish I could spend a Sunday with someone special so it always saddens me when I read how someone takes their partner for granted. I hope for your sake and your husband\'s that he will wake up and realize how lucky he is and start to really listen to you and take how you feel seriously and not treat you like one of the guys. I hope things will get better for you. Hugs :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ive been married more than once, I know how you feel. marriage is very hard work but both must work at it but being clingy and crying won\'t make any difference to him, he\'ll just blame you. All I can suggest is read books on marriage, go back to treating him like you did when you were first together and make a life for yourself. Go out, let him watch tv go to the movies all day, just don\'t be a doormat. I do hope you can work it out.