I cant deal

I went to visit my grandma who I really should have visited more often with my mom aunt and cousin and found her dead it really messed me up can't sleep cant think cant get the vision of her lying there so lifeless out of my mind I cant deal with it she was 81 and lived alone so she sat there and died ALONE. went through some pictures of her when she was younger and heard storys and I am so much like her there is just to much pain in this world You are born alone you suffer alone even if you have friends and family it doesn't matter your problems are still your problems and to top it all off you die alone, kind of makes you wonder if it is even worth the fight right now I relly don't think it is.....