How to Save My Marriage When My Spouse Wants a Divorce?
At one point in my marriage, I found out that my husband was having an extramarital affair. To date, it is one of the most hurtful, soul-injuring experiences I've ever had to endure. How did I find out? No, he didn't tell me. His behavior changed and as an intuitive woman, I became suspicious and began to investigate like only we women can do. I found her number and her address, contacted her, and she admitted to everything--of course, he denied it all at the time. That night, I had a barn fire in front of our house. But I didn't use wood or trash. I used his clothes, every piece of it: hats, shoes, pants, coats, shirts--you name it, it went up in flames.After that, I was certain that I didn't want to be with him anymore. I felt embarrassed, humiliated, betrayed, insecure, devastated (just to name a few of my conflicting emotions). And just when you think it can't get any worse, it did. He admitted to me that not only did he care deeply for this woman, but he wanted to be with her exclusively. His confession knocked the little breath I still had right out of my soul.According to my husband, our marriage was over. According to me, I still wanted things to work but I couldn't make him want to be with me. So you know what I did? I went on with my life, allowed him to do whatever he was doing with her, and waited patiently in prayer for God to knock some sense into my husband and restore my marriage. Waiting patiently is the hard part when you want your marriage to work and you want it to work now. Waiting patiently is gut-wrenching, especially in a society where we constantly receive instant gratification (instant oatmeal, rent-on-demand movies, fastfood restaurants, etc.)Not only did I know this woman's phone number and knew where she lived, I also knew what car she drove. I could have attempted to make her life a living hell in order to get my husband back, but I didn't want to make someone be with me if he didn't want to. Because I was fully aware that that woman wasn't holding my husband hostage in her home; he was a willing participant who could leave at any time.So I talked to God and told Him everything, how bad it was hurting me, how badly I wanted my marriage to work. And God spoke to me in a very clear voice, as though he was walking down the sidewalk beside me, and placed his lips near my ear and said, "He said your marriage is over...but what did I say?" And when God told me that, nothing else mattered. It didn't matter what my husband was doing with the other woman; the only thing that mattered was that I knew in my soul that God had the final say on our marriage. Needless to say, even with my faith, this was a very difficult time in my life and I lost a tremendous amount of weight due to the depression I was fighting. But in less than a year's time, God had restored my husband and my marriage.It's no walk in the park and we still have some kinks to iron out, but I'm regaining my trust in my husband day by day, and the fact that he's so open about the affair and that we talk about it and the pain that it caused our marriage and our children, it is truly helping me to heal. Sharing my story with you all is also a part of the healing process. href='http://jessicabsmith.hubpages.com/hub/Help-102-How-to-Save-My-Marriage-When-My-Spouse-Wants-a-Divorce' - http://jessicabsmith.hubpages.com/hub/Help-102-How-to-Save-My-Marriage-When-My-Spouse-Wants-a-Divorce -