Hate this world

I hate feeling like this. I cant seem to make it any better. I think well you are just whining, you have it a lot better then lots of other people. That is true but I dont give a shit. It hurts like hell feeling like this and all I cant think of is ok death would end this shit. Really I dont think I would do it, I mean I obviously have not yet and this has been going on for years now I am not sure what I am doing here you cant help me or fix my problems and no one will read this anyway or if they do it will be 6 months later