Guest View: My Colonoscopy

Everyone asks you about 10 times if you are allergic to anything. My answer remained consistent: Pilates and weak-willed men. Then you are rolled into a room and an IV is placed in your arm in preparation for putting you into a mini-sleep or, as Michael Jackson called it, afternoon nap time. I woke up about an hour later thinking I was being interrogated by terrorists, but it was just the anesthesiologist asking me questions again. Once you can stand up, you are released to go home. Its the same criterion my local bartender uses. I saw a Candy Striper on the way out of the procedure room and really hoped it was not Richard Simmons. You feel a bit groggy and you have an eerie feeling that you may have fallen asleep at Elton Johns Oscar party. Not that I ever have again. You are told you cannot drive that day or (my favorite) operate heavy machinery. This conveniently fits my lifelong rule: Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery EVER. I actually call my assistant into my office to operate my stapler. I hope this answers your questions about getting a colonoscopy. And to you liberal bloggers out there, the answer is no. My doctor did not find my head up there. I do not have to have another one for 10 years. click over here http://www.oaoa.com/editorial/columns/guest_columns/article_9c7972f0-650a-11e3-8b0e-0019bb30f31a.html












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