Grateful

I just wanted to pause and be thankful for two things.


1. Risk


2. Comfort


Two opposite forces I suppose. However, when I stop and realize just how many people are searching for meaning, fulfillment, desires, peace, and comfort, I am most grateful for risk. 


Without risk, there is no growth, without growth, there is no comfort. I am looking forward to taking a risk and spending a week of a lifetime in 29 days from tomorrow with the sunshine that wakes me in the morning. A special thanks to all who helped encourage my comfort.

Replies

looking2bhappy
looking2bhappy

I like that!
We sometimes get stuck in our comfort zone and don’t take that risk that could bring us more peace and comfort.
I’m anxious to hear all about your trip in a months time :-)

Hugs,
Kim
veggiequeen
veggiequeen

Risk is a very hard subject for so many of us. In part because we have always been hopeful,but disappointed.

You are right though... Without it... There is no chance of that happiness and comfort. Here is to that week being everything you hope for. :)
Lance09
Lance09

@looking2beHappy, Thank you. Truthfully after a long time of marriage with two very similar women (boy do I know how to pick em, but nobody taught me, haha), I have never done this kind of thing while married (between marriages was different and I must say very fun). I remember something somebody said to me recently, that helped me realize, my problem was struggling long before I even came along. I will always be thankful for that truth, understanding, and encouragement. I also have never had anyone want to hear about any trip I have ever gone on, and without bragging, my profession has taken me a lot of places. It would make us happy to share our trip with you. After all, courage for risk did not come all from me. That courage came from a very small group of very beautiful, and attractive people.

Walt
Lance09
Lance09

@veggiequeen, sometimes I think we wind up feeling disappointed, in advance, for a simple reason, and I have found this especially true with the women I have dated between marriages and my own feelings of low self-image. I am an old goat and a man who sees things through his own pain and not though just a body part, though that should not be ignored. I believe there is one emotion everyone has in common and that is the feeling of being rejected. I believe that is the biggest fear any human has, though some are better at accepting it or masking those feelings of trepidation than others The truth is we were made to want to be around people and to be desired and to desire. The problem is most people are broken and only a few understand they are worth the pursuit of pleasure. That describes me, I am sorry to say. The ones that understand out of their own pain and do something about that pain instead of being a victim are extremely rare. The real risk is that life is short and too precious to leave without experiencing a dream and we all have them, though the scenes change slightly between people.

I find it interesting, really, that the definition of trepidation includes positive words, actually. The definition is basically: A trembling, quaking, or quivering from fears, worry, stresses, and some include possible disappointments. The positive words are "trembling", "quaking", and"quivering." How cool! These are things I feel with my interest and they feel good. So a little fear can also be seen as a challenge and an adventure. It makes me happy and gives me warm feelings to think of my risk that way. I also believe fear comes from a self-image that has been bruised by the insensitivity of others, innocently or not (the end hurt of the wound is the same), and from our thinking birthed from our past or our own thinking from something in the past. This is true for me and I cannot apply it beyond me but know it is common.

That wound, of self-image, has given me the energy to heal. Maybe this is TMI, but my interest is very afraid I will be disappointed with her. I think she feels the same wound. If I may, I have had my share of what society says men should be looking for (mostly between marriages and in my current marriage) and what I know, without a doubt, is those things society embellishes never fully satisfies. For embellishment of something selfish is not the reality I live in nor is it a fact that a beautiful body makes a man happy. My life has come down to just wanting a drink from a cool moving mountain stream coming out from the side of a mountain, clean, satisfying, and very tasty. From backpacking when I am thirsty, those flows of water, when found, and you have to search for them, are quite satisfying and stops my thirst after being activated along the trails journey.

I also know from my own mistakes, that happiness with a woman is not about what society tells us it should be. I find the bill of goods we are sold is shallow, superficial, and unfulfilling, Anything I have bought concerning love never satisfies, for love and understanding I have learned must be a gift freely given and freely accepted or it sucks and does not work. Also, I found, connection and love do not work without mutual respect and equality in all areas. That's what, I believe, caused my wounds. You see, my interest I feel is afraid of meeting me for the first time, though we are getting closer every day and I desire the meeting to be comfortable and safe for her. But that is not one-sided!

I want her to know just how it feels, to be wanted for who she is. I want her to know something and don't know how to tell her for I am a little afraid too. I want her to know how she reaches into my very soul desiring of desire. I want her to know how the notion of being wanted by someone other than women where one lives or in some cases lives with who's been less than diligent in all aspects of a marital relationship is something I am looking forward to and that does not have one damn thing to do with our outward looks. or who we are or haven't been. I want her to know she makes me happy and peaceful just like she is. But, I am also quite sure from my wounds, that is too big of a bite of the elephant to chew, for me or anyone with the same wounds. Our wounds exist for a reason. I believe that makes us even when we meet.

From an old goat to a person I enjoy on D.S., I want to tell you I found out about eight years after going with society's norms that superficial attraction leaves a pretty painful void. With that in mind, all it takes to be beautiful is to treat others the way we want to be treated. She does that for me, she being the person I wake up thinking about.

Don't ask why I went into that much TMI with you, but it was worth the risk because she is the sunshine that enters the void bedroom that I sleep in. I look forward to waking up to sunshine every day now. Hell, today I was out of bed a good hour and a half before the sun came up. As I am writing this the sun is just coming up.

Thank you for those good wishes too. It would be exciting to hear about a risk you take some time. We all are worth taking a risk on.

Forgive the TMI but for whatever reason, your response evoked some serious passions for what I am looking forward too. Thank you for your support.

Walt
veggiequeen
veggiequeen

Thank you so much.
Lance09
Lance09

Awe, that was nice of you. My pleasure.
looking2bhappy
looking2bhappy

I have to say after reading your post that I am a little envious of your interest and the budding relationship you are creating. I am so happy for the two of you and I truly hope that you both find what you are looking for.

I have taken a risk in the past and we all ended up hurt in the end. That being said, I don’t regret my risk, it was what I needed at that time. I am more cautious going forward now, is that good or bad? I don’t really know, but that is how I need to be at this moment.

Wishing you all the best and like I said earlier, I look forward to hearing all the good things from your trip with your interest.
Lance09
Lance09

Thank you for your good wishes. I am feeling very much alive these days. We are excited to share our trip with you. I think you will like my interest. and she will like you. It's just that damn waiting now, but that is a good thing.

Hugs,
Walt