Everyone Desperately Need To Tell About Stress But Can Not Unless Asked

I hope this isn't completely insane, but I have read so many articles concerning the terrible feelings about having to expose trauma facts for your t. I'm coping with almost the opposite.
I have many 'issues' that I am aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive stepfather to an adult that I trusted as being a maternal figure that revealed she'd other tips for your connection in HighSchool... Then what is daily becoming more of a certainty that I have repressed very early https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/anybody-desperately-want-to-tell-about-trauma-but-cant-unless-asked.57793/ - Tell About Stress - punishment (I've always had terrors but am not experiencing his and my style in my brain which isn't satisfying change of words)... I've NEVER told details of ANY of this stuff. I've described to 2 individuals who "something" occurred with this person that was the level and I trusted. I'm plagued short video within my mind of the ones I remember, by photos and now these sounds of what I believe.
Does this seem sensible to EVERYONE? I understand I'd be HIGHLY embaressed to say the things I'd need to and I hope it'snot anything ill making me need to... But I am so worried we are going to spend years tiptoeing across the details since he thinks I'm scared and that I am desperately attempting to pour the beans. I wish I can tell him this, however it isn't allowed.
I am working together with at and have found that I am unable to tell him ANYTHING if he doesn't ask. I've told him this and he's great at attempting to ask me questions. The issue is, I can also not tell him things to ask. I understand it might appear completely mad, however it is much like I am prohibited to only openly tell things-but I am permitted to answer. He's gone backandforth about 'processing' stress and after that I believe I am so calm about things going on that he doesn't believe they begins to think we have to go another way and are. I get so angry once I hear him acquire extremely frustrated and speak about not addressing the trauma especially and need to stop hope about actually getting relief. I can't tell him that although it's like I UNDERSTAND I've to obtain these facts out. I believe he's also worried I cannot manage dealing with the trauma right because of my panic disorder, but I donot understand how to modify any one of this. I would like it so bad and that I have learn about all these new solutions to deal with PTSD without detailed control, although he discusses wanting to do it with as little detail and stress that you can.