Depression

I have been less and less overwhelmed that past few days with thinking of my losses in life.  Now I am dealing with depression and being overwhelmed with is the enormaty of it all.  And believe me, after my divorce and going through a relationship that took all that was left, it is enourmas!  At least financially.  I had to leave my great job in TN to come back to Michigan because I couldn't cope and was starting to turn into someone that I and no one else liked. She was harrassing me and always knows the exact things to do that hurt me the most.  It's funny the exact things that we talked about her never doing to hurt me if we ever broke up again are exactly the things she did!  She also told me the things I would need to do to bring her around to realize what she was doing and when i did,  she would call me a psycho, liar, whatever for doing exactly what she said to do!!!! Ok, I'm roaming off of my own topic, I'm depessed and can't seem to break this cycle.  I have no energy, and I mean none!  It's like it is no longer a decision to "just do it" anymore.   I can be somewhere, like at a picnic at my brothers the other day.   Seeing the people there eating, talking and being happy, I couldn't help but feel the enourmas loss I am suffering, and how alone I truly feel.    When someone asks how its going, I have a tendancy to say good and then start to unload and tears will run from my eyes.   What to do what to do......