Day after Christmas

So I have been divorced since June.  I left him because I felt trapped he had to control everything. He didn’t like my friends, seem to disagree with my views. 17 years we were together and I just didn’t know how to fix it.  I got to the point I cannot stand to be in the same room with him he pisses me off with every word out of his mouth, but I can’t  let my kids see this.  He still does, he still tells me what to do, lets me know I made the wrong parental choices, he has become best friends with the women next door to him now who is married but seems to be moving in as step mom when the kids are with him, and informing me of my mistakes just as he does.  HELP am I so horrible?  I’m so lost, so hurt and so tired