Are you too busy to find time for God?

I've been spending time decompressing after my arduous trip to TN. It has also been a time to reflect on my relationship with God. I never thought that I would say this, but while in TN we were on the go so much that I didn't really have any alone time with God. A couple of days after I got home, Bob left for Chicago. It was then that I had a melt down and spent a few days rather weepy. Upon reflecting on my trip, I realized that although I didn't find alot of time to spend with God, He was always by my side. I know that I would have not been able to keep up the fast pace I was on in TN, if He hadn't been present each and every day, making sure that I was able to keep up with the daily schedules Amy had to be on. Her specialists are spread all over the place...and for some reason we always had to wait a long time before she was called back. One specialist would want to talk to another one, and it never got done. We'd showup at another doctor's office and then would have to wait until that specialist got in touch with the one who told Amy he needed to discuss some issues with...and it wasn't just one doctor...oh no, it was every single one of them. Time managment was a huge issue. Ok, call me OCD, but when I make an appointment with anyone, I am always early, and I do not expect to have to wait 2hrs to be seen. I don't understand why doctors think that their time is more valuable than a patient's is. I had a very difficult time waiting in crowded reception areas. I would often times have to leave the room and just go sit in a bathroom where it was quiet, or go outside and sit on a curb. I guess since this has been such a huge part of Amy's life for the past 7+yrs, she's used to it, and takes things in stride. Nothing went as it should. The surgeon saw her prior to my visit for the staph infection and put her on a strong antibiotic. ($63.00 a pop) Shortly after I got there, she was scheduled to see him again to set up the surgery date for the tumor removal. By now, that staph infection was more localized, so instead of a "visit to set up the surgery" it turned out to be an in office open and drain. We were there for at least 3 hrs. Her pulmonary doctor was to have called and spoken to the surgeon because he told Amy that unless it was a matter of life or death, he would not allow her to go under general anesthesia. The surgeon told Amy that Dr. Nadrous and he had discussed the removal of the tumor and that Dr. Nadrous understood that it was vital that it be removed. However, due to the staph infection (acute celulites) that the surgery could not take place until the infection was healed. I ended up packing that wound every single day, until on the 6th when I told Amy that she needed to go to the ER. We got there at 1pm and had to wait until 6pm for Dr. Tripp to get out of surgery, as he was on call and wanted to see Amy in the ER. She was finally admitted at 10pm! Again, sitting around in the ER for hours on end with hoards of people milling around,coughing, barfing & bleeding, etc. The doctor had requested she be there around 1pm as he "would be finished with surgery." Well, an on call surgeon, we found out, is pretty busy on Labor Day. It was through no fault of his own, and that was understandable. I could go on and on about how many times our schedules went haywire. Let's just say that I certainly did a whole lot of murmmuring under my breath in TN. Thankfully, I did get to sleep in a bed next to Amy at the hospital because TNNcare doesn't pay for a private room and since Amy was infected, she was not allowed to have a "roommate." It was just constant running around the whole time I as there. We had 2 days where we found time to go to a pond and feed the ducks..and they were so special to me. Both Amy and I spent hours on the phone trying to set up wound care when I left. Spent hours trying to get her set up with a social worker. Hours spent in long lines at a pharmacy, in grocery stores and in WalMart. In between all of this, I was having to take out all of the packing, flush out the wound and repack it and make sure it was completely sealed. So every single day from 9/1-9/6, then from 9/8 until 9/21, I made my daughter cry because flushing that wound with Sodium Chloride was literally pouring salt into a huge gash. The doctor wanted it packed dry, so I would then have to dry out that wound and stuff it with this special ribbon like material, and that hurt too. Poor Amy was in so much pain the whole time I was there. We had to sterilize her apartment and I made her throw away all of her pillows and bought her new ones. The whole entire complex had 2 washers and 2 dryers, so doing laundry was an all day event. I finally got up real early while they were sleeping and did it myself before anyone in the complex was up. I liked it because it was basically the only time I had to myself. There were a few times when I would take a walk alone and just appreciate the coolness of the evenings. So...enough of that, as I'm sure you got the picture.
I realized when I got home, and after Bob left that I'd felt alone for quite a while. I wept before the Lord and just talked to God. I'm really not about formality when it comes to talking to God. While I respect who He is, He's my "Abba Father" which means Daddy. I crawled up into His lap and rested there for such a long time. I was laying in bed a couple of nights after Bob had left, praying. I guess I'd realized that although I spoke about God and Jesus to people there, and we shared unexpected fellowship with strangers, I had not taken time to just talk to God...and I really had not realized that until I got home and was alone. Looking back on it, God had never once left my side on my way to TN, during my time in TN or on the way back. While I had placed Him on the back burner, He saw to our every need in TN and made sure I was on the front burner. Abundant blessings were shared and although we said "thank you God" or "Thank you Jesus" I hadn't fellowshipped with Him alone. I can see that life at times becomes so hectic and busy that it is easy to forget take time to fellowship with the Lord. Has our nation got so caught up on being busy that we have forgotten who gave us this nation or hat our nation was founded upon Christian priciples? Are families too busy working and shuffling their children off to one practice after another that God has become low man on the totem pole? For a very brief time, I'd done just that. Consumed by what needed to get accomplished in such a short period of time, I realized that I was guilty of being too busy to take time out of my day to sit and fellowship with Him. The lesson I learned was that God should always be a top priority in our lives each and every day. I am thankful that He didn't put what was best for me at the bottom of His priority list. All of us who have meniere's can understand and appreciate what life is like for us on a daily basis. I recognise that time waits for no one.  God performed a miracle every single day I was in TN. While Amy drove 99% of the time, and there were days when I thought I should've packed a barf bag, God saw me through by giving me the strength and courage to do all that I had to do for my daughter.
As I laid there in bed, the peace of the Holy Spirit settled upon me like a warm blanket on a cold winter's eve. It's so nice to be home God.



Yes, God is always with us and I for one forget that time to time, but when I stop focusing on me a feeling sorry for myself, he someway gets it and is there for me/us. It is good to have the quite time with the Lord, and thank him, I do. I know he is there even when I am too busy with my little problems.
Bless you and Prayers to Amy!