April 14

This morning, I tried to convince myself that I went to a place I used to see Jason, for the purpose of seeing someone else. Well, I didn't see Jason and it sucked. A bit of a punch to the gut. I fully believe what I've read in many quotes which is that IF GOD HAS US DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER, THEN THINGS WILL HAPPEN: NOTHING I CAN DO WILL MAKE US WORK OUT. There is comfort in that thought. I hate that I still care. I hate that I think about him, I hate that I pray for gods life and family. I hate that we have songs, and the songs are on my phone. Most of all, I hate that I allowed this thief to steal the best thing in my life! I might have kids with my husband by now!!! Instead, I am living and ducking into the shadows in my head so I can daydream and then I punish myself for doing it. Darn

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iriemon
iriemon

`IF GOD HAS US DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER, THEN THINGS WILL HAPPEN: NOTHING I CAN DO WILL MAKE US WORK OUT.`

Good quote... I tend to forget that one. After all, all circumstances in our life seemed to have play out the way they were intended to be so far. Looking back I don't know how I could have not be close to my AP, there would be a lot of back-tracking that I need to do in order to make that not happen. Anyway you're right... if we are fated to be with someone, surely they will come back to us; if not, they never will work out in one way or any another.

I understand the hate part. I was constantly trying to move on from my AP without avail. I think only with time can they fully leave our hearts and minds.