Anybody Desperately Want To Tell About Trauma But Can't Until Asked

I've read numerous posts about the horrible ideas about being forced to disclose injury facts for your t, although I am hoping this isn't completely ridiculous. I'm coping with the other.
I have several 'troubles' that I'm conscious of from an emotionally/verbally abusive stepfather to an adult that I trusted in high-school like a maternal figure that confirmed she had different tips for the - Tell About Stress - connection... Then what is daily becoming more of a guarantee that I have repressed very early neglect (I have always had terrors but am not hearing his and my voice in my mind which isnot pleasant exchange of words)... I've NEVER told details of ANY of this stuff. I've stated to two people who "anything" occurred with this person I trusted which was the extent. I'm plagued small movie in my own head of those from the, by photographs and now these sounds of what I think.
I have discovered that I can not tell him ANYTHING if he does not ask and am working together with at. I've told him this and he is good at attempting to ask me questions. The problem is, I can also not tell him things to ask. I understand it might appear totally crazy, however it is similar to I'm banned to simply readily tell things but I'm allowed to answer. He has gone forth and back about 'handling' trauma and then I believe I'm so quiet about things happening he does not think they begins to consider we need to go another direction and are. I get angry after I hear him talk about not addressing the trauma especially and get really depressed and wish to stop trust about actually getting relief. It is like I UNDERSTAND I've to obtain these facts out but I can't tell him that. I think he is also worried I can't handle working with the injury immediately because of my panic attacks, but I really don't learn how to alter some of this. He discusses attempting to take action with as small detail and trauma as you can and that I have read about all these new solutions to cope with PTSD without detailed processing, but I want it so bad.
Does this make sense to EVERYONE? I understand I'd be HIGHLY embaressed to say the things I'd have to and that I hope it'snot something sick making me want to... But I am so worried we'll spend years because he thinks I am worried tiptoeing round the facts and I am seriously wanting to pour the beans. I hope I could tell him this, however it isn't allowed.