An unfortunate attempt

My 13 year old son had a hockey tournement a half an hour from our home today.  One game was at 9:00 am, and one was at 1:30 pm.  This is the town in which my daughter lives.  He has not seen his sister in a year, when my mother took him over there.  She was seven months pregnant at the time, and when my mother had taken them over there they didn't know that she was pregnant.  I asked him what he wanted to do in the two and a half hours that we had before we had to get back to the arena.  He said he wanted to go over to Rachel's.  I said no that she would probobly not see us if I was there.  He said that she would open the door if he was there.  He kept insisting until I took him over there.  We could here people in the house shuffeling around, but no one came to the door.  Josh had tears in his eyes and was very upset.  When we arrived home I could hear him sobbing in the bathroom.  She never sends a card for his birthday, never has bothered to get his cell phone number from my mother.  My mother is in contact with her and goes to the birthday parties, knew she was pregnant, brought my one son to see the baby once.  She relates nothing to me.  She wants to hear nothing bad said about her grandaughter.  I think she enjoys her position.  I e-mailed her today and related what happened.  When this first started happening, I was talking with my mom how I felt, and I had no idea that she was talking with my daughter and commiserating with her on how we were misunderstanding her until I got the letter a week before her wedding.  I can not get over that fact, and quite frankly have sucked all this up until today for the sake of my boys.  I don't think it's right to help create problems in a family.  I quite frankly can't stand to look at her or speak to her anymore.  I didn't make this I can't speak about my daughter rule, and I'm not keeping it.  If she doesn't like it, she doesn't need to call me anymore.  So much the better.Just when I think I've got it together I'm in the toilet again.  Nancy