All Hell...

...has broken loose.  I calmly told son last week that since he'd stolen the drugs we could not trust him here and he couldn't be visiting the house any more.  Since then he asked us out to supper and we went with him.  He was nervous, fearing a confrontation.  But things are different now.  I am not trying to engage him in a conversation other than superficial stuff because I don't want to engage in any more drama around his life.But Monday he called and wanted husb. to drive some $ to him so he could pay his court fines . (Bone of contention about doing that, too) He claimed he couldn't meet Son at the courthouse the next day, he had to give it to him the night before.  They had a conversation about getting a receipt.  Okay, will do, he said.  So what did he NOT do yesterday? come up with any kind of receipt.Husb is in a black fury, and has thrown up everything done wrong (my separating grom him 8 years ago-we're now back 3 yrs) and every little slight our other son does to him, and then of course, the possibility our son will die from his disease.  He's the angriest I've ever seen him, I think. And self-pitying.When I talked to son this afternoon, I asked "Just why did you call?" and he mumbled something about maybe going to jail for not getting into treatment or not paying his fines, or he didn't just quite seem what. just crap.  So I said I wasn't getting into any drama and those issues were his responsibilities.  He's been around the block enough on that stuff to know how it works.  At this point, jail would be fine.At this point any inroads on my codependency issues are still there; they're just not on the forefront.  I do know, like Dave Scheff says: Parents are suckers.  So are all other codependents.  You give and give, etc., and they don't bother to work on fixing their disease.It's the pits. Writing this, i'm really sending in that application to the School of Hard Knocks.