feeling a little more positive today. thanks everyone for your encourgement, kind words and hugs.  I realize that i only write in the journal when I'm down, and never when I feel good about things.  I should balance it more.  and I really need to look at the positive side of things more, I have some what good health, a wife and kids who love me, a part time job that somewhat keeps the lights on, etc...yes, things will be better.hugs to all

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That is great to hear. It is hard to look at what we really have as things and our loved ones that are with us on a daily basis get taken for granted sometimes,not intentionally. we sometimes wish we could have bigger and better things in life,but speaking from as one of the toughest times in my life at this writing i am certainly learning the value of loved ones and all that goes with the other half of your whole when they are not with you. You litterly \"have a hole.\"I will get through and unfortunately my job is parttime as well but i am trying to get a second and working on staying positive as this is not allways going to be so hard. Take care and prayers for you and you wonderful family.