lost

I don't know what is the right category I should be in... I'm almost 42 years old and my whole life has been led and haunted by trust issues. As a child I was molested by my step father, visualized my biological mother and step father sexually abusing my older sister, I was stripped of any trust towards people. I have recently decided I need to forgive and move on with my life. Take ME back from all the demons that live in my head. I pushed someone I love with all my heart to the point of having to walk away because I was questioning every little thing he was doing and getting angry for pointless reasons. The bad thing is, I actually trust him with all my heart, but don't know how to show it. I lash out unnecessarily. How does one move on and take control of their behavior, when it's all I have ever known? The man that did this is now passed, and I would never even admit that it had happened to me until I was 36 yrs old.. My biological mother, well she is still living. I have written her a letter stating I forgive her for her actions and the actions that she allowed to happen to her children. Do I mail the letter? I do not want a relationship with her, made that clear in the letter, just told her I was letting go and not letting her actions consume me any longer. Being a mom myself I don't understand how anyone could let someone hurt their children. Any advice?? Obviously their is a lot more to it, but that's a start...

Replies

donnawanda
donnawanda

I see you joined the \"Physical and emotional abuse\" board. You might also consider the sexual abuse, incest and PTSD boards.
cherylinbc
cherylinbc

Thank you.