trying to find on line cousiling i need to change how i think = who i am inside typed a letter to a page like that but it wanted money for little fead back so sent this letter to the samaitons site--  typing here because i dont know where to go-my life has become smaller and smaller to the point where .i dont even leave the house anymore.I feel like no matter what i do .it will change nothing the world now looks like a stage set you me i walk around in it but am not part of it ..i have looked at it all and see i have no lojical reason to even be here its like standing in a giant fun fair where everyone thinks its greatbut i dont want to go on any of the ridesi just want to sit on the wall and wait for the end of the dayand i also hate that but its the way have aways been..i think i look at things on a big scale but my life is so small as wellI feel alone but feel its best if im left alone .i try to let people see how i feel but i also know that wont changeanything at all all of this is going no where because we are just trapped inside ourself and no one will ever be able to change that