Joy

Well, my new years focus was to create and experience more joy in my life.  So, far so good.  I have been waking up and focusing on what is good.  Rather than dreading another day of back pain and struggling to do the things I want to do.  I am trying to focus on the things I can do.  I am grateful for my job.  So, grateful.  I love teaching and I love kids.  I used to be a very upbeat and positive person.  Life had the potential to be magical.  I felt a gifting in my life.  The gift of enthusiasm.  Well, over the past 4 years the changes in my disease have left me feeling not at all  my old self.  I let my circumstances rob me of my joy. Last week I and at the end of our vacation, I really focused on God's joy.  Doing so I found more of the self I used to be.  I felt more like the person I wanted to be.  I think it is a good start.  I don't expect every day to be perfect, I know I will have a bad moment.  But when I fail to remain positive, it is an opportunity to refocus and grow from within.  So, it is a brand new week.  And although I am tired, I feel joy today.  I am blessed to have a job, husband, and a roof over my head.  God is good.