I'm so angry

Today I feel very emotional. Very angry on how my marriage has turned out. So easy for him to just forget. Or as far as I know he could still be in contact woth the OW. How can I know for sure? Today is really hard. I don't feel like I want to hug all over him like a few days ago. I want to say f~ you, you son of a b~!!!!!!!!!!! But yet I still love him. He acts as if he could leave at any point with out a problem. I just feel so pissed thinking about him and what he did with her.....makes me sick!!! He probably told her we were going to get a divorce and how horrible I was.Poor pitaful f~ing him. The counselor say I shouldn't think about things that no good come from. Well I think I need to exspress myself. Yesterday me and H where sitting on the couch and I made the comment that I couldn't get in the Holiday spirit. He said why because you have not went shopping yet? I said no just cuz everything thats going on. And He rolled his eyes....seriously! I just can't forget...I wasn't even throwing anything in his face but hell no I am not aloud to bring it up or hurt over it. OK now that I deleted him as my friend so I can actually vent with worrying weither it upsets him. Thanks for reading and letting me exspress myself and what a bad day I am having.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Dawn I understand you. This rollercoaster ride is no fun. One day we\'re ok, even \'happy\' and then we feel like this. I\'m having a bad day too. After 3 weeks of not thinking of the OW or driving myself nuts by thinking of what they did and what he might\'ve said or did to her, I\'m now once again doing this. This is so painful! I just want to scream!

It baffles me to see how they can think that we should be able to sweep it under the rug and move forward. How dare they!
For any little disagreement we have I just want to scream at him. Sometimes I question trying to stay and work it out. I wonder if it\'s worth it. I\'m so scared of him doing it again. I mourn the loss of my marriage (what it was) every day. Sometimes I wish I didn\'t care about him as much as I do, then maybe this wouldn\'t hurt as bad.

I hope that something positive happens to us today to help this pain and sadness ease up a bit. Sending you support and a hug :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

I got a friend request from your H. I read his journal entry and denied it. Based on that entry that started with him admitting he messed up but then making every excuse for his behaviors under the sun and from some of the things you have said in your entries about how he rolls his eyes at you or expects you to just get over it, I have to say I don\'t think he gets it yet. I hope he does soon. Until then, take care of yourself. Make sure you are doing for you and making preparations for whatever might come your way.
DawnRanae
DawnRanae

Thank you both:) I absolutly love the support and understanding I get from everyone here at DS. Praying for us all to have this day end on a positive note. Strength and blessings to you both:)