This is new for me, and it's hard to get started. I lost my significant other to leukemia (CLL) Nov 4. We were inseperable for 11 years, nine of which we knew of his disease. I know it will get better with time, but if I only learned one thing from all of this, it's not to wish your life away. Live each day as if it were your last. But I can't do that right now. I just want to fast forward to the day that the pain is not so intense. Some friends are already acting like I should just "get over it".