This is one way to get your kids to visit.... : )
The day before Thanksgiving, a guy in Phoenix calls his son in New York and tells him,"Son, I'm really sorry, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are splitting up. We can't live with each other any more."
The son is distraught and shouts down the phone at his father, "Pop, what are you talking about?"
The father replies, "It's just that we can't stand the sight of each other any more. And I'm sick of talking about this, so will you call your sister in Chicago and tell her?"
The father than hangs up, and the son frantically calls his sister, who's equally distraught and exclaims, "No way are they getting divorced! Leave it to me, I'll take care of this."
So she calls her father and shouts down the phone at him, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't you dare to do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Do you hear me?"
She then hangs up, at which point the father hangs up his phone, turns to his wife and says, "Okay dear, they're both coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
A woman walks into a Ferrari dealership. She browses around, then spots the car of her dreams. She walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the leather upholstery, a small fart escapes her. Extremely embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed, and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. But as she turns back, there standing next to her is a handsome young...
My son is always complaining about the cost of things. "£1.50 for a coffee! £3.75 for a ham sandwich! 20p to just to go to the loo!" Honestly, he was moaning about it all of yesterday, so that's the last time I invite him over to my house!